Sunday, May 29, 2011

I Get No Respect: 10 Reasons Why Family & Friends Don't Respect You


Are you tired of being disrespected by your family and friends? Do you often wonder why you can’t seem to win the respect of others? If so, then you will be interested to learn what makes people feel like they can’t respect you. After years of observing people, who I personally have no respect for, while discussing why others don’t respect them, I have created a simple list of topics that explain in detail why people who may have once respected someone, now have absolutely no respect.

One. Appearance/ Body Hygiene

It doesn’t matter why someone chooses to wear what they wear, defend their inappropriate clothing all you want, the bottom line they can’t expect to be taken seriously at a conservative job interview, be respected for their brain and not beauty and so on, while wearing something revealing or tight. Women are not only guilty of this, but so are men. Some are known for exposing their muscles or chest hair in a provocative shirt while wearing tight pants that hug their buttocks.

Let’s talk about the awful smell that comes from one’s lips or other not so obvious places! Don’t tell me that you aren’t going to think twice about carrying on a conversation with the person now or in the future. Let alone date them or introduce them to family. People who have workable noses don’t want to hang around people who can’t keep themselves fresh.

Two. Attitude

Some people think it’s cool to roll their eyes and neck, pop their fingers, and yell at the sales clerk, the bank teller, the passing driver in another car, etc. But there is absolutely, nothing brave, strong, noble or positive about any woman or man who behaves this way. So if you think that the people around them enjoyed the show and think favorably of them, that is the furthest thing from the truth, simply put, they are thinking, “She is ghetto, He is a*$#, and they both are trash!”

People have enough drama going on in their personal lives, so the last thing they want or need is a negative person coming around raining in on their parade. However, there are those who will still try and you maybe one of them. Be careful telling people everything that is wrong with everyone else and everything that is going on around you. There are those opportunists who love a person like and maybe taking what you say to someone who has the power to promote them, demote, or kick you to the curb!

Three. Health

Why do people who are obese, diabetic, have high blood pressure, or can’t walk upstairs without breathing heavy, feel like they can tell you how to eat? Overweight ministers are good for this! They should try being an example for others, before they tell someone what they need to eat and how they should exercise. Did your “know-it-all friend” look in the mirror after he or she got out the shower today? Has your stubborn relatives listened to their doctor’s advice? Are you taking or needing a prescribed medication?

There are people who are turned off listening to others spout off what is wrong with their bodies. If the health condition is that bad, do something about it. Why should anyone respect you when you obviously don’t care or respect yourself?

Four. Education

You may have a relative or friend who didn’t graduate from high school, let alone middle school, and feel that they need to preach to everyone how getting an education is important. Hello? But why didn’t they go back to school? Instead of them preaching to the choir, they need to go back to school, and maybe someone will show them a little respect and take them up on their 2 cent worth of advice.

They may have had a hard time in life, so be it, but their lack of education is also contributing to why people around them have no respect for them whether they would like to admit it or not.

Five. Business/ Employment

No one respects someone who is broke, busted, and disgusted, I know from experience. When you can’t by someone a gift, take them out to lunch, have a great party, travel, and so forth, people don’t offer to help you. They say, “Well you have a business you can help me.”

When you can’t keep a job for whatever reason, employers become really skeptical, it doesn’t matter that you became pregnant, helped with the family business, relocated, etc. The only thing employers are concerned about is “Will you be an asset to our organization or a liability?” The only way you can win anyone’s respect in the areas of business ownership or employment is by making a lot of money, having something fabulous to show for it, and helping others.

Six. Parenting

It is hard to respect anyone that isn’t doing what they can to raise their children or be in their lives. This also applies to grandparents too. How does any parent (or grandparent) think that suddenly their successful adult child is going to one day acknowledge them when they haven’t been in their lives in the past 20 years?

You will also find that people will watch what you say to your children and how you discipline them. They use this information to determine what kind of person you are. If they find you are disrespectful to your children, chances are they will not want you around.

Seven. Family

You will be hard-pressed to find someone who will sincerely respect an alcoholic, drug addict, wife beater, someone who has gone to jail, or other related struggles. People don’t just shut off bad memories and wake up one day and say, “Yes I will remember his birthday” or “Yes I will make the time to bring my children over and see her.” These things take time and to demand that someone reach out to another simply because they carry a title is absolutely insane! Not only does respect have to be won, but forgiveness takes time.

You don’t have to be a drunk or an abuser, for someone to feel as if you are being very disrespectful to your own family, so what would you do or say to them? When people notice how you negatively react to your family, they often lose respect for you quickly.

Eight. Partnerships

So you, a family member, or a friend has been dating someone for ten years and never married? Maybe it has been a rocky relationship? You will find that people aren’t very empathetic when it comes to illogical decisions. If you have a history of bad relationship choices, don’t wonder why your family and friends don’t respect your decisions or advice.

Nine. Friends

Be careful of the company you keep, this saying is so very true. As you see often in the media, when a celebrity communicates or has business dealings with shady characters their reputation is called into question. Many times people lose the respect of others by the people they associate themselves with.

Ten. Finances

Are you a beggar? A beggar is someone who often relies on others to give him or her something in exchange for nothing. If you are, then you know why people roll their eyes when you come around. They know that you will be asking for something. Stop asking and start donating, you will be surprised at how quick you gain respect of others.

Eleven. Interests

Sometimes the things that interest you will turn people off. If you are trying to get a decent girl, then why are you entertaining yourself with pornographic material? If you are seeking a healthy, handsome hunk of a man, then why are you smoking, not watching your weight or exercising? When one sees that your hobbies are harmful to what they are doing in their own lives, they won’t have much respect for what is coming out of your mouth.

Twelve. Boundaries

Everyone has a set of principals they live by. They may not always be consistent and they may not even be good, but they have them. When one doesn’t establish good boundaries, principals, rules –whatever you would like to call them—that are created to protect themselves, family, even their pet from mental or physical harm and danger, then he or she deserves no respect. You will see their photo plastered in the media and on the Internet, family will gossip about him or her, strangers will shun them, and everyone will have an opinion.

Respect is not something we are given, it is earned as many self-improvement books preach. If you want someone to respect you, you will have to do the things that will gain their respect. Without creating a foundation in your life that boasts “respect me,” people won’t. They will pass over you and look to someone else that means what they say and say what they mean. Now as we all know, you can’t win them all. Some people will not respect you no matter what you do, but there are far more people that will, those are the people who you want to target, forget the rest.

By Nicholl McGuire

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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