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Saturday, September 6, 2014

Sibling Rivalry Among Adults


Deceased Loved Ones: Trouble from the Grave

When some loved ones were alive they were trouble, and now long gone in mind, body and spirit and they are still trouble!  These angry, bitter, or crazy relatives and friends didn't make peace while alive and so the unfinished business they left behind is stirring up all sorts of dissension.

When was the last time you spoke to a relative who caused the family much chaos?  This person could one day die and the drama could worsen.  If it is in your power or someone else's in the family to expose pending issues and get them settled, the sooner, the better.

Far too many people who once got along well with one another, ended up having much difficulty long after a loved one died, because some things were said by the deceased relative during their waking hours.  The selfish, controlling, prideful and busybody type is most concerned about material wealth; therefore he or she might say some things to get others to be bound to their things. 

"After we die, don't ever sell this...We invested much time and money on these things.  We might come back from the grave and haunt you...Don't ever part with grandma's ring, you know how much it means to her.  Hold on to this family heirloom, it will be worth something some day," selfish loved ones might say.

Sometimes things do hold value in time and the beneficiary just might experience a big pay off, but when "that thing" is causing so much trouble in the family to the point that everyone and everything is in upheaval because of it, one must ask his or herself, "Is it worth it?"

If you have someone in your family that says or does things related to "when I die..." that make you feel uncomfortable, question this person, interview others about his or her state of mind, and most of all be sure that this person has a living will in the event that he or she is no longer able to speak.  When you do these things, you are less likely to experience trouble from the grave.

Nicholl McGuire

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Men Who Hate Women and Those Who Belittle Them

Sexism hasn't gone anywhere!  Like with so many other issues that once dominated newspaper headlines or was major gossip between family and friends, the issue of men disrespecting or even hating women has been hidden or forgotten about until someone is significantly wounded or worse murdered!

After years of observing men talking in circles about the women in their families, at work and elsewhere, I have noticed a disdain some have for them.  If they aren't joking about how long women talk, they are making comments about the way a woman's body is shaped.  Much of the hate comes from those who unfortunately had poor relationships with their mothers and hardly no, if ever, a relationship with their fathers.

These bitter men, often confused about things concerning women, are easily frustrated with them especially if they are aware of their menstrual cycles.  Its as if they act moody because they know the women will be experiencing a very private issue soon.  Instead of acting supportive, some men will become visibly irritated, short-tempered, and want to be left alone.  It has been my experience that men who behave like this, oftentimes cheat and will lie about whereabouts just so that they can be away from their partners.

I don't know about you, but what I can tell you is that no matter the age, the way the woman looks, how smart she is, or how much wealth she has, an angry man who doesn't care too much for women, (except for what they can do for him), is incapable of loving them unless he has healed from past rejection from mom and the other women he has encountered in his life.  Whether these women treated him well or not, it is his perception of women that needs to change if he wants to get pass the anger.

It is not polite or funny to listen to a man put down women in general.  It is disturbing to see a man punch, kick, shove, or spit on a woman.  It is downright evil to know of or even witness a man acting evilly toward women while observers say or do nothing!  Yet, so many family members will encourage the men in their families, who just can't seem to get along with women, to act abusively if they deserve it.  Centuries ago this attitude of male dominance was prevalent and so it still is to date.

When it comes to these angry men in relationships they oftentimes have enablers--people who support their hate for women even if they are women themselves.  The sister of the abusive brother will "stay out of it...mind my own business" despite knowing how abusive he is to someone's daughter.  She might even place blame on the wife/girlfriend without knowing the facts.  Then there is the mother who believes that her son can do no wrong and the father who advises his son to "play" women and "get her to do for you!"  Aunts and female cousins might sign off on their abusive relative's behavior because they "know how women can be."

From print advertising to music videos, mothers, fathers, and other relatives don't mind letting a young girl or woman act in inappropriate ways that contribute to the negative attitudes of men who belittle and/or hate women.  The critics will judge them and say, "I told you these women aren't loyal...You can't trust them."  I say, what is wrong with a society that welcomes such hate for women?  Has it really come down to this, men and women who are in love in the public eye, but behind closed doors can't stand one another?  As our nation becomes increasingly homosexual and bisexual with more mothers at work than at home parenting children, one must think, "What might be the role of women in the future?"

Nicholl McGuire is not only a blogger and author but a YouTuber, check her thought-provoking spiritual commentary and biblical study here: YouTube  
 

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