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Thursday, January 17, 2019

When the Abuser, Victim Denies the Abuse, Toxic Relationship

5 Reasons Why Grandchildren Don’t Come Around as Much

Some grandparents feel good when they see their family members, while others not so much.   Adult sons, daughters and children have their lives and sometimes those lives are purposely isolated for good reason or not-so good ones.  Consider what has recently occurred to cause sons and daughters and their families to not call or come around.  What life changes might they be experiencing?  Have you bothered to discuss what you are feeling lately about their distance?

1.  The parents are having difficulties and they don’t want your grandchildren to spill the beans.
Arguments, physical fights, silent treatment, and other issues that couples face with one another are not ignored by watchful children.  They listen to the disputes and if bothered by them, will not hesitate to share what they know with relatives.  A couple who wants their battles to remain private will be less likely to drop children off with grandparents.

2.  Schedules have become busier and there just isn’t time or possibly patience to visit.
Unfortunately to visit with some grandparents can be overwhelming especially when they have personality issues and are demanding expecting sons, daughters and grandchildren to assist with numerous tasks while visiting.  Some grandparents hope that relatives will stay all day at their residences.  A busy family with a busy life has little time for long visits and even less patience to deal with moody relatives, so they reason it’s just easier to avoid them.

3.  The grandparents have not shown a genuine interest in their sons and daughters’ families.
There are those grandparents who just don’t want to be bothered or reminded of how excitable children can be.  They also don’t want to deal with the burden that comes with caring for them.  This is why some grandparents make a point to leave the home, busy their selves, and do other things so that they don’t have to baby-sit grandchildren.

4.  Some grandparents are often critical, bossy, or nosy.
Negative comments about what one looks like, demanding that visitors help with household chores, and asking too many personal questions will create a tensed atmosphere.  When this happens, unruly children can be challenging to manage.  Therefore, to save a parent any additional headaches from both difficult grandparents and hyper children, they rather just stay home.

5.  Unchecked health ailments have pushed sons and daughters’ away rather than draw the family near.
Stressed adult sons and daughters and grandchildren are incapable of dealing with the emotions that come when a grandparent is ill or dying.  When this happens, they tend to become distant.  If you should notice these behaviors happening in your own family, this is no cause for alarm.  Rather than respond angrily, make snide remarks to your relatives’ faces or behind their backs, or attempt to make sons and daughters feel guilty about not coming around as much, live your life.  If you believe in a Creator, pray for them.  

You never know what life challenges they are trying to manage personally and professionally.  When they are ready to visit, you just might be pleasantly surprised. 

Nicholl McGuire is an author and inspirational speaker and this blog owner.


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