Their Story Before You Showed Up

On Underestimating What Elders Have Gone Through

The Past Hidden Truth - family history, secrets, ancestry

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Family Lies, Family History - Still Victims, Claiming to be Survivors

When I wrote Genealogy X: What to Expect When Researching Family History, I felt moved to do so because too often people die in families with spirits in unrest.  They don't all die in peace.  They were troubled when they left.  Sometimes one feels an innate desire to get to the bottom of things and this is what my family history book instructs and inspires you to do before it's too late.  There are many walking dead amongst the living, claiming to be survivors when they are still very much victims in bad marriages, still enabling family lies, covering up for others, and more.  If you want to learn more about your family roots and learn effective ways to investigate your own family history, then get the book. Genealogy X: What to Expect When Researching Family History

 

On Family History: When Titles Don't Make Relatives Right, Truth Does

If you should take a moment to argue with a self-righteous family member about what you deem to be right about family history and it is proven wrong, this relative might act very prideful while reminding you of his or her title, whatever that might be in your life, while advising you about your education, who you think you know, or skill level in a certain area.  But if you were to be right about a person or event in family history, this same prideful relative might attempt to downplay what you have said, discredit you, and act very jealous.  He or she might do any of the following: fault-find, play ignorant, ignore facts, act judgmental, etc.  Keep in mind, a title doesn't make a relative or guardian right, but the truth does!


When you are awakened to the shoddy foundation of a family unit and see that what has been passed down for years from patriarchs and matriarchs is incorrect, it is natural to want to point out flaws in the family's thoughts, traditions, stories, and more.  However, those that enjoy believing the lies, desire to keep secrets, refuse to be wrong, and may have issue with you and your family, will argue, defend, back-bite, leave people out of wills, or even physically fight about the facts.


No contact is always the best way to go when you can't seem to speak any truth to relatives who rather insult, argue, and threaten you.  No one should have to deal with toxic people who believe they are often right, when they are usually often wrong.  Establish your boundaries, create new view points, share facts with those who care, and don't give place to the enemy by losing your cool!


Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7. 

Can You Say Anything Good About Your Family?

They come and go in your life.  They show up at family gatherings.  They claim they love you and will always be here for you, your family.  But how true are they to the words that they speak?  When was the last time a trial showed up in your life and you called on your family?  What happened?  Do you find yourself trying to make a square hole fit into a round peg with these people or do you fit together like a hand in a glove?

Chances are there is some pain, confusion, bitterness, resentment, envy, and more concerning certain relatives, not all.  The "bad seeds" are the ones that we find ourselves trying to make sense of their nonsense.  We cut off some, while others we keep around for title-sake.  Some who carry titles are just as toxic as the bad seeds, but we put up with them for a time.  But one day there will come a time, when we will grow older, get bolder and there is no putting up with anything!

What is certain about all families in this life, they live and then they die.  Some we will miss while others we will secretly rejoice (as heartless as this might sound), but is so true!  There is no sugar-coating what we know about some people.  We try to say nice things about them, be polite in public, and don't rock the boat.  However, there will always be that breaking point when one gets tired of being used, abused, forgotten, ignored, or treated more like a thing then a human being.

As one relative told me some years ago, "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all."  I think this rule applies to some things, but not all.  Some issues have got to be said in order to begin a healing process.  You can't very well continue to allow someone to mistreat you just because they are "family."  It is insane and this is why some relatives never heal, if anything, they are burdened by the weight of someone else's evil just because they won't let go of titles.  There are those moments when truth is prohibited due to one issue or the other, but then there are those times when one is free to say how he or she truly feels.  Of course, some things can't be done without some degree of consequence, so we prepare.  But what really matters is saying what needs to be said before eyes are closed forever.

So I leave you with this, can you honestly say anything good about your family and if you can, is it honest?

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual wisdom at YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

How Much Do You Really Know About Your Family?

The time will come one day when you will wonder, "What is it that I need to know about a parent or relative?"  Maybe it has already come for you, but what have you done about it?

• Did you sit down and talk with your loved one in an effort to truly get to know him or her?
• Did you write a family history book?
• Did you think of collecting family keepsakes and photographing them so that others might enjoy them?
• Have you thought of getting others' personal accounts about the relative in question?

The sad reality is that most family members know more about popular reality show stars, black history, musicians, and even their best friend's family then they know about their own history.  Who are you really?  Where did you come from? 


Something to think about.


Nicholl McGuire also contributes to a blog for people who are easily bored with life, things, and people here.

Why Is it so Important to Know Your Family History?

A child might not seem to care too much about family history, but those dating should.  As adults, we tend to know more about everyone else's history, but our own.  So when kissing cousins meet one another, have babies, and so on, family members want to act judgmental, ignorant, or downright rude?  This could all be avoided if the elder relatives would open up their mouths and start sharing family history including health information.  Tell the maiden names of the women in the family, talk about where the family originated from as far back as you remember, check out online information, and visit genealogy websites.  Why should the younger generation walk around not knowing who their extended relatives are?  Maybe they will never meet their elder aunts, uncles, and cousins, but it doesn't hurt to know at least their names and possible whereabouts.

Nicholl McGuire