Hot-Headed Family and Friends

Issues on the rise - disputing with relatives, friends

What to Do About Moody Relatives with an Ax to Grind Whether You Know It or Not

There are just some relatives that will not show any love no matter what time of year it is.  From Valentine's Day to Christmas, the family issues will continue to mount and some will say nothing until one day they just explode.  A small event triggers a major one and before long everyone is angry, sad or ready to fight.

Moody relatives, who have much negativity to say about relatives and friends, are to be avoided if you want to keep the peace in your own family.  You don't want to spend too much time being around them especially when you know they have their share of relationship challenges, difficult children, and personal misery.  Many relatives and friends set themselves up by trying to uplift some people that have a long history of saying and doing toxic things to others.  If you must connect with these people, do it after the holiday(s).

There are some people who wait for good times to spill the beans about this issue and that one.  They have an ax to grind with someone and so they seek an unsuspecting relative or friend to help sharpen it.  These people, who so readily believe whatever they hear, get cut in the process.  It is always better to stay out of others' quarrels.  But if you must be involved in a family dispute, before you jump in, choose to advise, or be there for someone who might be the scapegoat or black sheep in the family, do the following:

1.  Find out more about why this person is so upset.  Look at both sides, not just the complaining person's point of view.
2.  Don't badmouth relatives and friends to the hurt individual, because if he or she should one day befriend the enemy, your conversation just might come back up.
3.  Don't offer to lie, cover-up, or validate anything he or she says.  Listen without judgment.
4.  Share what you know with others only if the person confiding in you wants you to.  This might occur if he or she wants you to talk to someone for him or her.  However, be cautious doing this because the person who might be on no contact could turn on you for passing information to him or her.
5.  Avoid the shame, guilt, and other emotions that could make you feel obligated to helping this person.  Advise only if he or she is willing to listen to you.
6.  If you find that the family issue is affecting other areas of your life, distance yourself.  Don't be so available to take phone calls, visit homes, and perform service for the quarrelsome relatives or friends.

Not everyone is able to help moody relatives or family friends who just can't seem to get along with people.  When efforts at peace have failed and the person rather keep issues going, don't get involved with the individual or those who encourage the family fighting.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.