Sunday, June 12, 2011

7 Reasons Why Your Ex Won’t Come Back

You tried everything to get your ex back and he or she doesn’t seem to budge. You have tried to figure out what could be stopping him or her from being with you. Some of the following thoughts may have come to your mind, but you won’t face the truth because you are still very much in love with him or her. However, you will need to face the truth and here’s how.

One. He or she isn’t interested in you any longer.

When you know that this may be a reason as to why you can’t get your ex back, back off. Some people think that they can sell themselves to another who is obviously moving on with their life. You know that no sales pitch will work with her or him when you have repeatedly called, dropped by, and used others to try to share your thoughts and no matter what you say or do, he or she keeps telling you, “Leave me alone.” Do it, before you find yourself in legal trouble for stalking. One way that you can begin to remove this person from your thoughts is to keep yourself busy doing other things that stimulate you mentally and exhaust you by the time you go to bed at night. This way you won’t be up late at night thinking of him or her.

Two. What you did was so bad that he or she can’t forgive you and forgetting is simply out the question.

When one sees the bad thing that another has done to them, the vision may never go away. That is why it is very hard for a person to get over someone cheating on them especially if they saw him or her in the bed doing the action. If you know, that your ex has actually seen you holding hands, kissing, or being in bed with this person, save yourself a life of insecurity, anger outbursts, and jealous rages, by backing off. Some men and women will tell you that when they got back together with an ex they made their life hell because they couldn’t get the vision out of their head of the night they saw them cheating. When you are making an effort to improve yourself, although it may not win your ex back, at least they will look at you and say, “He or she is trying to be a better person.”

Three. He or she has found someone better.

Oftentimes men and women who are trying to get an ex back will automatically assume that is what is happening. Sometimes there is no one around who the ex is serious with just someone they may enjoy talking to or going to the mall or movies. However, if that is occurring then you definitely don’t want to try to win your ex back by making it a competition. When you do you are no longer focusing your attention on your ex but rather this person who doesn’t know you. Thinking that your presence will make him or her go away is also foolish, because it will make you look like you are crazy and when people feel threatened they will call the police. An ex will not find it attractive knowing that you are in jail over something foolish. If anything, he or she will take precautions as well like file for a Protection from Abuse with the local law enforcement. The best thing you can do is become distant almost act like a stranger. This will help you move on and make your ex feel less threatened.

Four. He or she is more interested in achieving professional goals without distraction.

This is an excellent reason as to why some people will not go back to a relationship. Nowadays people are money driven. They want the best that money can buy and once they are convinced that they can achieve the best no one or nothing will stand in their way. He or she may now see you as a hindrance. The best way to get over him or her is to learn by example and better you.

Five. He or she has reasoned that you can’t be trusted.

When lies are told and other things have occurred that just don’t add up, an ex will resolve that there is no getting the truth out of you and so will move on. You will have to move on too and remember to be more honest with those you meet in the future.

Six. He or she has been advised by a well-meaning family member or friend that you aren’t a healthy addition to his or her life.

Your ex may have someone around them that they admire and this person may have given them some advice on their situation. If you were trying to win him or her back it can be challenging because you are not only trying to get the ex back but you have to convince those who influence him or her as well. Sometimes it is best to move on when you know that a person is still very much dependant on his or her family.

Seven. He or she knows that you have been seeing someone else and may have children with this person.

When an ex knows that the relationship ended mainly because someone was either in the picture while the two of you dated or came soon after the separation, he or she will struggle with the idea of this person’s existence and often wonder if you are still in contact with him or her. When children are involved the ex will reason that they can’t stomach the idea that you have a permanent connection to someone else other than them. Some exs cannot and will not accept this kind of lifestyle.

Your ex is not interested in coming back for any one of these reasons or some other, and when you try to force something that is not working you are causing more problems for yourself and making it harder for you to move on in your life. There is a difference when an ex cares and when he or she loves. Just because he or she is polite and may have helped you a few times with a problem since you have been separated, doesn’t mean that he or she wants to be in a relationship with you.

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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