Kitchen and Housewares Amazon

Noise blocking sleep earbuds

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Tired of the Emotional Pain Caused by Relatives? Choose Your New Family

You grew up with them.  You know more about them than they care to admit.  They blamed you for things you did or didn't do.  They shamed you for being you.  They told lies then acted like they told the truth.  Your family.  Your good-for-nothing family!  Someone may have told you once, "You can choose your family."  Maybe it's time to let go of the old and welcome the new.

Too often people put up with so much from others because of titles, past favors, old gifts, fond memories, and more.  But when do you ever reach that point when you are free--totally free from the pain these people have caused you?

One-by-one my stable-minded relatives let go of the toxic kinfolk.  There was the uncle who often drank too much, bye!  The aunt who was out doing who knows what with who, bye!  The cousin who was often in trouble with the law, bye!  The beggar, the liar, the abuser, all gone!  The victims had enough of the pain.  It hurts to argue with a stubborn relative who refuses to see his own destruction.  It is exhausting reaching into the fire to pull someone out.  Heroes get tired of saving the damsel in distress.  Family eventually burn out from protecting family.

I recall there were relatives who looked much better when I bumped into them away from the family  holiday events. The survivors were no longer dealing with certain relatives.  Sure, they missed them from time-to-time, but they knew that of they let these people back into their lives, they would pay for old and new offenses.  It didn't help that the trouble-making relatives didn't let go easily.  They would lure their victims back in every now and again with a party invite, a sad story, a funeral announcement, a gift, or an offer to baby-sit.

What did it take for the survivors to finally let go and welcome new "family" into their lives?

1)  They found lives of their own.  They stayed involved with activities they personally enjoyed rather than go along with family tradition/programming.

2)  They found people who supported them mentally, financially, spiritually, etc. outside of the family circle.

3)  They refused to do what relatives wanted when they wanted and how they wanted; instead, they put themselves first.

4)  They stopped making excuses for disrespectful relatives.  They stood up to the bullies.

5)  They went low and no contact when boundaries were not respected.

6)  They didn't subject their children and grandchildren to toxic relatives and their lifestyles.

7)  They changed phone numbers, addresses, avoided online connections, etc.

I admired those who got free from my dysfunctional kinfolk.  I saw early on that they had been troubled far too long by them.  The survivors had chosen a different path, one of peace, prosperity, and protection.  They were deserving of their new found family and friends!  I am proud of them for it.  I too, had left, moved on.  It's a great feeling not to be shackled by others' dysfunction.

Nicholl McGuire

ADVERTISE HERE!

Have a blog/product/service? Share it with visitors of our site. Feel free to contact nichollmcguire@yahoo.com to discuss your business needs.

Search This Blog

Other Family Blogs Worth a Look...



Topics

4th of July abandonment about us abusers abusive daughters abusive fathers addiction adult add/adhd adult sons and daughters adults and mental health issues advice African American children aging alcoholics ancestry ancestry dna angry men toward women angry relatives antisocial personality disorder apologies arguments bad news bad relatives bereavement bigotry black sheep blended families blog owner boarding school borderline personality disorder braggarts busybodies career caring for elderly parents cheapskates cheating child abuse children and mental health disorders christmas church codependency codependent cognitive dissonance communication community competitive relatives controlling parents controlling women crazy relatives cults cyclothymia daddy issues dating death deceased loved ones deceitful people delusional relatives demonic influence dependent personality disorder depression difficult family members disappointments discipline dissociative identity disorder distant relatives divorce domestic violence doubts dreams drug abuse drunks dysfunctional families emotional abuse emotional blackmail emotional flashbacks emotional physical bondage emotional vampires empaths enablers encouragement engaged enmeshed relationships entertainment evil people ex relatives exes exs faith family family abuse family activities family breakup family bullies family closeness family conflict family fighting family history family liars family obligations family parties family planning family problems family resources family reunion family scapegoat family secrets family stories family support family survival family therapy family togetherness family traditions family vacation father daughter relationships fatherhood feeling used foolish people forgiveness friends funerals generational curses gifts God golden children gossips graduates grandchildren grandparents greedy relatives grief guilt happiness haters healing healthy families histrionic personality disorder hoarders holidays house guests how to reconnect with family how to say goodbye to children humor husbands hypocrites hypomania personality disorder ill relatives immature adults immorality inlaws intermittent explosive disorder interracial relationships introverts jealousy lazy relatives liars lies loneliness love low T manipulation marriage medical history mental abuse mind control misers money mother mother-in-laws motherhood naivety narcissistic men narcissistic parent narcissistic personality disorder negative family members new year no contact with family obsession obsessive compulsive disorder offended relatives overprotective defensive relatives overwhelm paranoid disorder parental brainwashing parenting parents parents who play favorites peacemaker personal problems petty relatives physically abused podcast poems post traumatic stress disorder prayer prejudice prideful people prophets in the family psychology psychopath personality disorder racism racists raising daughters raising sons rebellion relationship abuse relationships relatives and babysitting repressed memories reputation respect rich family members rude relatives satan schizoaffective disorder schizoid personality disorder school breaks seasonal affective disorder self-esteem problems selfish family members senior citizens sexism shopping sibling arguments sibling rivalry single parent singles without children social anxiety disorder sociopath personality disorder soldiers spiritual abuse spiritual family friends spiritual relatives spirituality step-parents stepmothers stonewalling strange relatives strangers stress strict fathers strong families stubborn relatives successful family suicide teens temptation thanksgiving the big dreamer toxic relatives travel truthtellers visions wedding widows wisdom witchcraft wives work worry