Author Nicholl McGuire shares excerpts from When Mothers Cry: Stepmother...

Tell Me Mother You're Sorry - book about dysfunctional mothers - excerpt by Nicholl McGuire

One day you noticed the self-absorbed mother trying to be helpful, yet meanly criticizing, joking, playing, or doing something else that makes you feel awkward. She is coming into your room without knocking whether clothed or not. You found yourself having to keep insisting on your independence and protecting those you love because something isn't quite right with your mother. When she feels like you are “sassing” or “think you are so grown and never too old to get you’re a$$ whipped,” she tries to put you in your place. Now if you were to say something she doesn’t like, or do something that goes against her wishes, this kind of mom will try to humiliate you around witnesses. A slap across the face, a name-call over the phone, or a nasty remark about your husband or children and before long you are ready to do battle. Fall into that trap and she will make sure she appears like she was in the right while telling others, “You see how your sister reacted to me! Look at how your niece acts! See why I don’t bother with these young people!” Yet, this mother started the mess, but it doesn't matter to onlookers. You were at fault because you fed into the drama.

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Some of you readers will be the first to admit that at times you gave your mothers a hard time. You weren’t always honest, didn’t always do what you were told, and might have done the unspeakable because you were mad at Mom. I get it, I’m not judging. So where might some of that have come from? Think about it. Mom was sneaky, lying, and covering up some things too even if she wanted you to believe she was a perfect child, always listened to parents, and could do no wrong in her youth and up to now.

If you witnessed any mother-like figure's deceitful ways, you learned from the best. As long as you are on Team Mom and have trained your children to be on Team Grandma, then you are okay as long as everyone follows the rules. But you know that God has given us our own minds, a free will. We can choose to follow unrighteous precepts or live in peace doing our best to love and respect others whether near or far. No one should be bullied into doing something they don’t want to do!

A child of God, comfortable with his or her sense of self and identity, will break wicked programming from a mentally disturbed mother that has a long history of controlling her children using things like: bible studies and church attendance, strict fathers and relatives to scare them into submission, money and gifts, and emotional, sexual and physical abuse. Many adults suffer with self-esteem issues as a result and have trouble making challenging decisions because they still rely very much on their childhood caretakers that refuse to let them grow up.

 

Tell Me Mother You're Sorry by Nicholl McGuire

Some of you readers will be the first to admit that at times you gave your mothers a hard time. You weren’t always honest, didn’t always do what you were told, and might have done the unspeakable because you were mad at Mom. I get it, I’m not judging. So where might some of that have come from? Think about it. Mom was sneaky, lying, and covering up some things too even if she wanted you to believe she was a perfect child, always listened to parents, and could do no wrong in her youth and up to now.

If you witnessed any mother-like figure's deceitful ways, you learned from the best. As long as you are on Team Mom and have trained your children to be on Team Grandma, then you are okay as long as everyone follows the rules. But you know that God has given us our own minds, a free will. We can choose to follow unrighteous precepts or live in peace doing our best to love and respect others whether near or far. No one should be bullied into doing something they don’t want to do!

A child of God, comfortable with his or her sense of self and identity, will break wicked programming from a mentally disturbed mother that has a long history of controlling her children using things like: bible studies and church attendance, strict fathers and relatives to scare them into submission, money and gifts, and emotional, sexual and physical abuse. Many adults suffer with self-esteem issues as a result and have trouble making challenging decisions because they still rely very much on their childhood caretakers that refuse to let them grow up.

“A person with a very low sense of self generally has a fragmented, fractured, disconnected and disassociated sense of identity and self,” according to an article entitled, Selfhood and Recovery written by Terry Lynch. “The voices and conversations in their head reflect this, often appearing in third person, which are deemed to be hallucinations and therefore quite abnormal...” With many mothers, who have undergone traumatic experiences over a long period of time, they suffer with various thought disorders. From repeated abuse to difficult pregnancies, they struggle to make sense of their own worlds let alone others. There are plenty of recovery resources that help explain mental illnesses.

Nicholl McGuire

Book available in print and eBook