Listener Comments, Be Free from Crazy-making People

The Wish that Relatives Would See the Light - Not Everyone is Sane in the Family

People who are mentally ill don't know that they are.  If they detect something is not quite right with themselves, they work hard to cover up their insanity.  All of their tactics of blaming, denying, minimizing, abusing, and using others are excellent tools to keep the unsuspecting in the dark. 

Sometimes it takes years for hurting family members to separate the truth from the lies, but by the time this happens victims want nothing to do with them. 

"After all these years you believed I was the crazy one when your parents were really the nuts!"

"You thought I had something to do with that?  Your crazy brother was at fault!"

"Why didn't you ever bother to pick up the phone and find out what exactly I supposedly said or what occurred over at the house?"

Some partially insane folks have enough sense to create smokescreens so if you aren't discerning and don't bother questioning what you think you might know based on what they told you, you will believe almost anything.

The next time a loved one tells you something, think before you speak, "What really happened?  What did he/she do the reason why her children, siblings, etc. are distant?  Why doesn't my relative do more with her life besides talk negatively about others?"

Hold your judgment and know that with some people they don't want you to ever find out just how cold-bloodied and cruel they really are.  Watch as well as pray!

Nicholl McGuire has had her share of experiences with narcissists, substance abusers, and those who walk on the dark side.  Check out her practical guides at this site.

Tired of Helping The Confused, Stubborn and Crazy People in Your Life?

Wild, Crazy and Rude - It's All in the Family

I was thinking about the many family members that have a screw or two loose upstairs due to years of drug use, sexual diseases, wars, and turbulent relationships and I thought, "No wonder so many relatives are distant."  Who really wants the wild, crazy and rude at the barbecue, the birthday celebration, or even at the church?  Sooner or later one or all three of these type of family members are going to say or do something that is going to make a relative wish he or she never saw their faces again!

Some do-good type of relatives want family events to be memorable, so they will take a chance and invite the family members who are better off left alone--even when God himself is saying, "Avoid the drama..."  Despite the past issues with relatives, the wild ones will still come out and show their love and support until someone triggers a deep rooted emotional issue to come flying forth!  Now the fight is on!

Do yourself a favor as the season warms up and family get-togethers are underway, stay clear of the drama.  When you know you have issues with certain relatives, stay home!  If you are planning the party, take a vote on whether Crazy Henry, Wild Suzie, or Rude Brenda should be at the event.  I'm sure the reason why the last event didn't go over so well is because all three showed up!

Nicholl McGuire

5 Reasons Why His Girlfriend/Wife is Strange

Some men can pick the most unusual women to date and eventually marry and when they do, the family (for a time) has to put up with their relative's strange pick for a mate especially if they have children together.  So what might make your relative's woman act and react so strangely and when might the family want to fall back from getting to know this person?

1.  She lived a wild life that might have caused far too many mental melt downs.

From personalities that appear out of nowhere to caring for others in ways that a doctor just might offer a prescription or two, a weird woman's mind has been beaten over the years by far too much partying, bad breakups, a terrible childhood, family secrets, and more.  No amount of talking will help someone who doesn't think that she is acting strangely.

2.  She had a child or children while lacking the mental and physical support from the other parent or family members during tough times.

A woman who hasn't been a mother for long isn't necessarily right in her mind all the time especially if the father and other relatives are not providing needed support.

3.  Past abuse--sexual, physical, mental, etc. within her own family

If she has been abused by relatives, she is not always going to think straight when it comes to relating to those who may look or act in ways that remind her of her abuser(s).  Women who never sought any help for their conditions are walking around mentally and/or physically sick.  And the evidence of their illnesses sometimes doesn't show up until they open their mouths and start talking or usually after spending much time with them in the presence of others. 

4.  Too much or too little material wealth.

Spending far too much time to make, save, and invest money will make anyone go crazy!  She is worried about not having enough or too much, she obsesses over how much money is being spent on one thing or another.  She dominates her household with threats, fear, and more when it comes to buying and saving.  Overtime, her controlling ways are displayed in the way she talks and walks leaving people to think negatively about her.

5.  She was born strange.

No excuses, some women were born evil, weird, odd, or "out there." 

When the opportune time comes for the family to back off from the strange woman is usually when you begin to see signs that your relative is not really as fond of her like he once was.  He avoids public affection, he is visibly irritated with her when she speaks, he often finds excuses to be a part from her, he doesn't like listening or talking to her like he did before, and he starts talking about dating, meeting other women, and going places without her. 

The difference in the way a family member (in a relationship with a weird woman) behaves around her might begin within a month or two after the family has met her maybe sooner or later depending on his tolerance level for the strange.  This difference in the way he reacts toward his partner is because he most likely has noticed some things about her and has also observed his own family's reaction to her, "There is something off about that one...nice, but weird." 

Gradually your family member will withdraw from his mate within the same year after repeated warning signs that yell, "This one is definitely not the one!"  But a foolish, desperate type of male or one, who believes he might go to hell if he divorces yet again, just might keep the strange woman on his arm little longer (than most) that is if the following applies:  he has children with her, if she is more nice-looking than most women he has dated in the past, has much money and he is benefiting off of it, and if the strange woman is doing some toe-curling things in bed that leaves him in a never-before experienced temporary trance.  Yet, he will one day break up with the weird woman for good (only after repeated attempts to work it out) simply because he can longer tolerate her bizarre ways. 

Get ready to witness a period of watching your relative and his strange woman ride on a roller coaster ride of twists and turns before finally saying, "I need to get off this crazy ride!"  And for those of you who are religious, no amount of prayer and fasting will help someone who is determined to get out and get over his mistake and keep in mind God doesn't always heal the mentally challenged either, so don't encourage people to stay together especially when the environment turns hostile!

Nicholl McGuire blogger of this site and others.  She maintains twitter and hub pages as well.  She is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, When Mothers Cry and other books.

Crazy Relatives Who Don't Care Whether They Live or Die

You may have a few in your family, crazy relatives who don't mind taking risks with health, wealth, family, and more.  These insane relatives will fight with self and others in order to get their illogical ideas off the ground.  They reason, "This will be good for everyone...you will see!"  But the reality is that far too often their thoughts and deeds do nothing more than bring heart and headache to relatives and friends.  So what do we do about these mentally handicapped people in our families?

One.  Don't encourage them to take dangerous risks.  From cheating to drug use, when you know your relatives are bound to try anything, don't say, "Go ahead, do it--I don't care if you kill yourself, you crazy S.O.B.!"  If you say words like this, you might be the one at the funeral one day crying out of guilt--beating yourself up about the last words you said to your wild family member.

Two.  Keep away from the angry, deceptive, or dangerous relatives when you know they have a history of tricking people into doing crazy things.  If a sudden phone call to do something doesn't sound right coming from this wild relative, most likely it isn't.

Three.  Pray for your insane relatives.  If you know that their parents tried everything else like: medicate them, take them to a psychologist, to church, etc., the least you could do is utilize your faith to help them, help you!  Ask God to give you peace, understanding and willingness to help your family member when you can.

Four.  Be at peace with all those related to the insane relative.  One way is to not talk/visit/help out so much if you find yourself too involved in your wild's relatives life. Limit your time with those family members who are often bitter, angry, and saddened by this troubled person's misdeeds.  You can only do and say so much to them, if you find yourself being handicapped as a result of others' issues, distance yourself from them and those who insist on burdening you with all their problems.  The last thing you will want to deal with is losing your cool with your own family because you don't know when to let go of troubled circumstances and people.

Five.  Learn more about your family history.  Notice patterns and other behaviors that might have contributed to your relative's mental handicap.  Seek remedies that might possibly help with some symptoms.  Don't insist on advising your relatives to take your advice when you know they are irresponsible, nonchalant, and selfish.

Take a moment to think of other things you could possibly do to keep from becoming like your insane relatives.  Keep children away from troubled people, because it is very easy for them to pick up on their bad mannerisms.

Nicholl McGuire

Christ-Believing Relatives: Cowards When it Comes to Crazy Folks

Some of us invite drama in our lives.  We just can't help it.  Something in us just welcomes the familiar spirits of gossip, backbiting, yelling, cursing, craziness and whatever else we grew up around.  Those of you who know the Bible, know we aren't supposed to entertain nor fellowship with those familiar spirits.  But some believers, don't care.

Why do we allow people who wear certain titles in our lives get the best of us?  Just think, you are having a good day until that relative calls you on the phone with their drama.  You get off the phone and now you feel like you don't want to do anything.  You are hollering at the kids for no good reason.  Your mind starts taking you back to negative times.  "Oh I remember when she...and that's why I can't stand...and you know what why did I even bother to..."  Now you are frustrated and irritated all because of one of your relative's seeds of negativity.

Now I know what some of you are thinking, "I don't allow it...I am not the one causing problems."  Maybe that's true.  But if we interviewed some of your relatives, what would they say?  Sometimes we start drama by what we don't say and what we don't do.  You could have told your backbiting trouble-making relative to keep quiet on a certain issue, but instead you just laughed or sat silently on the phone.  You allowed them to keep feeding you and others their crazy stories by saying nothing!  No wonder why some relatives just keep on behaving like they do, people just laugh and feed into whatever they are saying.  Wonder what God thinks?

Where are the bold relatives out there?  The ones who don't tolerate no mess!  Do you stand up for what's right?  Do you put fools in their place?  Do you cut people off irregardless of their titles when they have seriously wronged you and yours?

I hate to say it, but some so-called Christ filled believers are cowards!  They are always fearful to hurt someone's feelings who they know is in the wrong!  They don't want to be accused of being a trouble-maker for putting their foot down.  Some have fought so many battles over the years about right and wrong actions that they are just tired.  But if these relatives are truly the saved, sanctified and Holy Spirit, bible toting Christ followers, then where is the strength and courage they are supposed to use to help others?

You have to question who are these folks really serving?

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Spiritual Poems by Nicholl: Thoughts and Prayers to Encourage & Convict coming out this spring on Blurb.com.