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Wednesday, November 22, 2023

How You See Yourself Versus How God Sees You by Nicholl McGuire

 In our journey through life, we often find ourselves grappling with questions of self-worth and purpose. We strive to accomplish certain goals and envision a future that aligns with our desires. However, it is essential to consider whether these aspirations are in line with what God intends for us. This thought-provoking message explores the dichotomy between how we see ourselves and how God sees us. By delving into the scriptures and understanding our true worth in God's eyes, we can gain a deeper understanding of our purpose and unlock our full potential.

1. The Negative Perception of Self

"Oftentimes we find out after mistake after mistake, breakup after breakup, issue after issue, that the things that we envision for ourselves, the connections, the people, places, things, all of that isn't what God intended for us."

Many of us struggle with a negative perception of ourselves, influenced by past mistakes and failures. We may have experienced emotional abuse or been surrounded by people who made us feel worthless. This negativity can hinder our ability to envision a positive future for ourselves.

2. Envisioning a Positive Self-Image

"Take the moment to do this simple exercise of what you hope to be, hope to accomplish, or if you can't see it, if you can envision something positive about someone else and that that positivity will rub off on you."

To counteract the negative self-perception, it is crucial to take the time to envision a positive self-image. This exercise involves imagining what we hope to be and accomplish, or finding inspiration in the positivity of others. By focusing on the positive aspects, we can shift our mindset and begin to see ourselves in a more favorable light.

3. Seeing Ourselves Through God's Eyes

"There are scriptures that encourage us as believers to see ourselves through God's eyes. We are going to take that moment to recognize the value, the value of seeing ourselves in the way that God sees us, to truly see our worth, to envision that, to feel that, to embody it."

The scriptures provide guidance on how God sees us. We are reminded that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, created in God's own image. By embracing this truth, we can recognize our intrinsic worth and begin to see ourselves as God sees us. This shift in perspective allows us to embody our true value and live out our purpose.

4. Overcoming Negative Programming

"Because over the course of our years, we've had too many people talk about what we're not, what we can't, what we won't, what we are to them, we feed into the negativity and eventually do something negative."

Negative programming from others can deeply impact our self-perception. Whether through words, body language, or emotional abuse, these experiences can make us feel undervalued and prevent us from embracing our true potential. It is essential to break free from this negative programming and align ourselves with God's perspective.

5. Embracing God's Calling

"Why go back to the workplace that God didn't even call you to? You called yourself to it. Why not put your two weeks notice in and start looking for that job, the job that you should have gotten?"

Many of us find ourselves in situations that are not aligned with God's calling for our lives. We may have settled for less or pursued paths that were not meant for us. It is crucial to discern God's plan and purpose for our lives and make the necessary changes to align ourselves with His calling. This may involve leaving behind familiar but unfulfilling environments and seeking out the opportunities that God has prepared for us.

6. Recognizing Our Intrinsic Value

"For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well."

The scriptures remind us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. Our worth is not determined by external factors or the opinions of others. We are valuable simply because we are created by God. Embracing this truth allows us to let go of feelings of worthlessness and step into our true identity.

7. Discovering Our Purpose

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart."

God has a purpose and plan for each of our lives. Even before we were born, God knew us and set us apart for a specific calling. It is essential to seek God's guidance and discover the purpose He has prepared for us. By aligning ourselves with His plan, we can live a life of fulfillment and make a positive impact on the world around us.

8. Embracing Our Identity in Christ

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance."

As believers, we are called to recognize that we are God's handiwork. We are created in Christ Jesus with a purpose to do good works that God has prepared in advance. Our identity is rooted in our relationship with Christ, and by embracing this identity, we can live out our purpose and make a difference in the world.

9. Rejoicing in God's Love

"The Lord your God is with you, the mighty warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you, in his love. He will no longer rebuke you."

God rejoices over us and takes great delight in us. His love is unconditional, and He no longer rebukes us. We can find comfort and strength in knowing that God is with us and supports us in our journey. His love empowers us to overcome challenges and live a life of purpose and fulfillment.

The themes explored in this message have profound implications for our lives. By shifting our perspective and aligning ourselves with God's view of us, we can experience a transformation in our self-worth and purpose. Embracing our identity in Christ allows us to overcome negative programming and live out the calling God has for us. This shift in mindset has the potential to impact every aspect of our lives, from our relationships to our careers.

When we recognize our intrinsic value and purpose, we can approach life with confidence and a sense of direction. We no longer need to seek validation from others or allow their negative opinions to define us. Instead, we can draw strength from God's love and rejoice in the knowledge that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

This newfound perspective also empowers us to make choices that align with God's calling for our lives. We can step away from environments and situations that do not serve our purpose and seek out opportunities that allow us to fulfill our potential. By embracing our identity in Christ, we can make a positive impact on the world around us and live a life of significance.

Future outlook

In conclusion, the way we see ourselves versus how God sees us is a crucial aspect of our journey through life. By embracing our true worth and purpose, we can overcome negative programming and align ourselves with God's calling. Recognizing our intrinsic value and identity in Christ empowers us to live a life of fulfillment and make a positive impact on the world.

As we continue on our journey, it is essential to regularly remind ourselves of God's perspective and seek His guidance. By staying connected to Him and embracing His view of us, we can navigate life's challenges with confidence and purpose. Let us continue to envision ourselves through God's eyes and live out the calling He has prepared for us.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself, Know Your Enemy the Christian's Critic and other books. The audio version of this article is available on

Thursday, August 3, 2023

Honesty is the Best Policy: How to Say What You Mean with Funny T-Shirts for Men and Women

 When it comes to being honest, not everyone is good at it. That's why there's a store called "Say What You Mean". It offers boldly funny t-shirts for both men and women that let you express your true feelings without saying a word. 

These funny t-shirts come in a variety of designs, each with their own unique message. Whether you're in the mood for something sarcastic, witty, or just downright honest—you'll find what you need here. Plus, they make great gifts! No more having to guess what people want; now you can buy a funny t-shirt that expresses how you really feel. 

The next time you're attending a family holiday event or getting together with friends, make sure to bring your funny t-shirt. It's the perfect way to show everyone that honesty is the best policy—even if it's a little bit funny! 

So what are you waiting for? Head over to Say What You Mean today and pick out the perfect t-shirt that expresses how you really feel. You won't regret it! 

Don't forget: Honesty is always the best policy—even if it's a little funny. So why not show off your true colors and Say What You Mean with a funny t- shirt? Get yours today and make sure everyone knows exactly how you feel. 

Happy shopping!

Tuesday, August 1, 2023

Estranged Siblings and the Importance of Detaching from Toxic Relatives

 The dynamics of a family unit can be complex, and these complexities are often exacerbated when siblings have become estranged. Estranged siblings may be distant from one another due to different life paths, unresolved disputes, or other issues that divide them. Toxic relatives can make it difficult for individuals to maintain relationships with their siblings, leading to feelings of guilt and distress.

An illustrative example of this dynamic involves a mother who consistently favors her daughter over her son, creating a significant divide between the two siblings. This mother continually praises her daughter's accomplishments while belittling her son's. As the son constantly tries to win his mother's approval, he becomes resentful of his sister who seems to effortlessly receive the maternal praise he craves. The daughter, in turn, feels burdened by the unwelcome attention and becomes defensive, leading to further division with her brother. In this case, the mother's toxic behavior has not only damaged her individual relationships with her children but has also fostered a hostile environment that has ultimately led to their estrangement.

The devastating realization dawned upon the siblings only when it was too late. Neither had discerned the destructive influence their mother’s favoritism had on their relationship while she was alive. Like a slow-acting poison, it had eroded their bond over the years, until there was little more than resentment and estrangement. The mother's passing, a profound and unfortunate event, triggered a cascade of regret and introspection. It was then that they started to untangle the strands of their relationship, to see where things had unraveled, and to understand the role their mother's toxic behavior played in their estrangement. It was an illuminating, albeit painful, revelation.

Protecting oneself from toxic relationships can be a challenging, yet necessary, step. Firstly, recognizing the signs of toxicity, such as constant negativity, lack of respect, and emotional manipulation is pivotal. Once one identifies a toxic relationship, it's essential to establish boundaries to safeguard emotional well-being.

Rebuilding estranged relationships, on the other hand, requires time, patience, and a willingness to forgive. Open, honest communication is crucial in this process. Expressing your feelings and listening to the other party's perspective can foster understanding. It's equally important to remember that rebuilding doesn't mean forgetting; it means accepting past discrepancies and deciding to move forward. Remember, in some instances, seeking professional help from a counselor or mediator can be beneficial in navigating these complicated emotions and situations.

Professional counselors or mediators can provide a safe, neutral space for open conversation between estranged siblings. They offer strategies and techniques to help individuals express their feelings, manage conflict, and rebuild trust. Additionally, they can assist in establishing healthy boundaries, promoting self-care, and navigating the difficult decision of when to disconnect from toxic relatives.

Furthermore, support groups can also be a valuable resource. Sharing experiences and feelings with others who are in similar situations can be therapeutic and provide a sense of community and understanding. Support groups often offer practical advice and coping mechanisms, which can be instrumental in managing the stress and emotional turmoil that often accompany estranged relationships.

Lastly, self-help books and online resources can provide insights and strategies for managing these complex relationships. They can help individuals gain a better understanding of why they have become estranged and how to approach potential reconciliation or disconnection. Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all answer, and it's crucial to seek help that aligns with your unique situation and wellbeing.

Learn more, check out Tell Me Mother You're Sorry by Nicholl McGuire available on

Sunday, July 2, 2023

How to Handle Family Conflict During Holiday Events

Family gatherings, such as reunions, 4th of July celebrations, weddings, and baby showers, are supposed to be occasions where members of the family come together, share life stories, and enjoy each other's company. However, it is not uncommon for these events to trigger heated debates, disagreements, and grudges that have been simmering for years. If you have ever had to navigate a family event where conflict arises, you know how easily it can spoil the occasion. In this post, we offer tips on how to handle family conflict during holiday events. 

Prepare yourself emotionally beforehand

It helps to approach a family event with a clear mindset. If you know that you might encounter family members with whom you have had conflicts, be prepared to see them. This means acknowledging your feelings about past experiences but staying committed to not allowing those feelings to ignite more conflict. Take some time before the event to reflect on any deep emotions you might have and practice strategies such as deep breathing, visualization, or meditation.

Focus on common interests

Focusing on shared interests can help to redirect conversations away from potentially divisive topics. Find opportunities to bring up general topics that people can agree on, such as family history, or general current events. Make an effort to be pleasant, upbeat, and avoid anything that is potentially controversial. Ask questions, and actively listen to what other people are saying. By focusing on positive topics, you can reduce the chances of confrontations and keep the atmosphere friendly.

Find a support system

Knowing that you have people who are rooting for you or who share your perspectives can go a long way in helping you deal with conflict. Identify family members or friends who you can depend on as an ally if things get tense. This person can lend a listening ear or offer words of encouragement or support if needed. Remember, you don't have to face challenging situations alone.

Know when to walk away

If a conversation or situation becomes too uncomfortable, it is important to know when to walk away. Sometimes taking a break and removing yourself from conflict is the best thing you can do for both yourself and the people around you. Be polite about it and say something like, "I'm sorry, but I need to step away for a moment. Excuse me." This way, you aren't escalating the situation by abruptly leaving, and you aren't causing a scene.

Don't take things personally

Tempers can flare in high-pressure situations, and things can easily be said that are hurtful or untrue. The important thing to keep in mind is not to take these things personally. Remember that someone's opinion or words are not always about you. It is essential to remain calm and not allow someone's outburst to provoke you to respond in anger. Instead, take a deep breath and try and understand why that person might be feeling that way.

Family holiday events can be enjoyable occasions, but they can also cause tension and conflict. By preparing emotionally beforehand, focusing on common interests, finding a support system, knowing when to walk away, and not taking things personally, you can handle family conflict better. Remember that in most cases, the goal is not to have a winner and a loser but to maintain healthy relationships even in disagreement. By handling conflicts with grace and patience, you can make sure that everyone has a delightful time and feels good about coming to events in the future.

Check out a faith-based channel devoted to a variety of issues related to family challenges

Friday, March 10, 2023

How to Know You are in an Unhealthy Relationship

It is not uncommon for people to find themselves in unhealthy friendships. Unfortunately, this type of relationship can be detrimental to both individuals involved. To help protect yourself and others from being a part of an unhealthy friendship, here are a few warning signs that may indicate that you or someone else is not a good friend.  

One major sign is when one person begins to take advantage of the other person by asking for favors constantly without offering anything in return. This could involve asking for money, rides, or assistance with household tasks without ever reciprocating the favor. Another indication is when one person in the friendship only calls or texts during times of need and neglects their friend most other times. It becomes especially concerning if this individual always has something they need help with, but never takes time to just catch up or show appreciation.  

The most telling sign is when one friend continuously puts the other down or undermines their opinions and decisions. This can manifest in subtle put-downs disguised as jokes, or open criticism of someone's ideas. All these behaviors are indicative of an unhealthy friendship that should be avoided at all costs to protect both individuals involved from emotional harm.
If you notice any of these signs present in a relationship, it might be time to reconsider whether it is worth continuing the friendship. It is important to have healthy relationships with others and if a friendship fails this test, then it is best for everyone involved to move on. Remember that having good friends who treat us with respect and kindness is essential to our wellbeing.  

The bottom line is that it can be hard to let go of someone you care about, but if the signs point towards a detrimental friendship, then it may be necessary for your own safety. Be sure to look out for these warning signs in any future friendships you create and do your best to create healthier relationships with those around you.  

More than anything else, remember that having friends who value us and make us feel appreciated should be at the top of our list when it comes to relationships. A healthy relationship will have mutual respect and understanding, as well as plenty of time spent enjoying each other's company without expecting anything in return. Being a good friend means being there for each other and supporting one another in challenging times, but also giving each other space to grow as individuals.  

With a little effort, you can create and maintain relationships that are beneficial for everyone involved! If you or someone you know is struggling with being a good friend, there are many resources available to help. It is important to keep communication open and honest so that both people feel comfortable expressing their needs. With the right support, anyone can work on building healthy friendships! 

Nicholl McGuire is the owner of this blog and the author of Say Goodbye to Dad and Tell Me Mother You're Sorry.


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