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Wednesday, March 6, 2019

10 Things that Occur in Relationships that Couples Avoid Sharing with Others

You notice the photographs of what appears to be happy couples posted on the social networking sites you have joined.  You see them walking down the street holding hands.  You are in awe of your favorite relatives’ relationships and you secretly wish that you could have what they have.  Yet, before you get too lost into what you think is a happy relationship, know that many couples have their share of issues and if you were to be a fly on the wall you would be shocked at what you saw.  

  1. A partner’s personal body hygiene.
Although most women wouldn’t want the world to know their partners stink, some have gone publicly with what they discovered.  All that glitters doesn’t necessarily smell good so you might have read somewhere online with some celebrities.  A person’s hygiene says a lot about how they manage (or not) other areas of their lives.

  1. Past issues like: cheating, threats of divorce, deaths in the family, financial woes, jail time, etc.
Sure, the seemingly sweetheart couple appears to be in love now, but you would never know how much they endured in order to get to that place.  They wouldn’t tell most relatives, because sometimes keeping major issues private draw couples close rather than far apart.

  1. An incident(s) where one or both started physically fighting.
It would make sense why no one would ever hear about a couple’s physical altercations.  With the threat of going to jail as a result of dating or domestic violence, both would promise each other never to breathe a word.  Besides, if some relatives found out, the partner doing the fighting just might catch a bad case of being beaten to death depending on the family.

  1. Awful lies that were told and continue to happen.
Disputes between couples about lying are all-too-popular from lying about what one views on the internet to where he or she went while a partner was sleeping.  Those in denial would never want to let family and friends know that they were right about their partner being sneaky, irresponsible, untrustworthy, etc. so wicked lies are often covered up until something really bad happens.

  1. Appearance flaws.
Bad teeth, an unflattering part on the body or scar tissue from an accident, sometimes no one knows about these things but a partner. 

  1. A child or children really not being one or both of the parents.
This is one of the best kept secrets for a time.  However, sooner or later a child’s features will reveal the truth.  From skin tone to eye shape, something just isn’t right.  Observers will talk, but the couple will refuse to tell the story.  Sometimes secrets like this do far more harm than good.

  1. Weird fetishes, routines, and sexual desires.
As handsome as a man might look seated beside his beautiful wife, one may never know just how strange this couple might be behind closed doors.  Some couples participate in some very strange behavior that would leave many of us speechless.  Others have annoying habits that we would never tolerate if our partners were to do them.  Then there are those bizarre sexual things that happen at their home—you know the kind that you might want to be careful where you sit when visiting.  You also might want to be mindful of eating there too.

  1. An abortion or miscarriage.
This is a painful secret that many women and men have gone to their graves with.  No one wants to be reminded of something that occurred in their lives that they may never be forgiven for, so these couples who have experienced such things, stay quiet.

  1. Criminal issues like: stealing, rape, falsifying documents, fighting someone or group outside of the relationship, recklessly driving, etc.
Whether one or both in the relationship paid a fine or did some jail time, they wouldn’t want others to know about what happened for fear of being judged.

  1. A threat or attempt to commit suicide or other mental or physical condition.
Couples who have been through much emotional and physical turmoil usually don’t want anyone to know about their challenges.  They find it difficult being around people who have not experienced what they have been going through.  Some not only keep secrets but avoid coming around family and friends during tough times for any number of reasons.

If you find that you are in a relationship like the one described or know a couple like this, do take the time to be understanding about how others might feel.  If you are typically open about your life and begin to shut others out, they will react negatively toward you, worry, and may even drop by your residence unexpectedly depending on how close they might be to you. 

There is nothing wrong about keeping your life with your partner private.  If more couples did, they just might discover that they will be much happier. 

Nicholl McGuire manages this blog and others like Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and When Mothers Cry 


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