4th of July - Family Drama, Unresolved Issues Since the Last Holiday Get-Together

So some relatives have intentions of setting it off this 4th, there will be more than just fireworks in the sky.  Are you prepared for the pending explosion ahead with kinfolk who drink, smoke, and eat too much?  When we know we have toxic relatives, if we care anything about our spouses and children we keep them away from the drama.  However, when you are that one who is very much into family no matter how bad they are for you and others, then expect to be a part of their drama.

Many years ago, I was that child who witnessed much.  Arguing, physical fighting, and stealing went on with some family members.  While they swore up and down they were innocent, those of us observant kids knew better.  It didn't matter how much adults scolded us about listening and watching grown folks, we knew something was very wrong with people who eye-rolled, deep sighed, yelled, and threatened one another while carrying their share of demons that they smoke, drank, or brought to the holiday events.  But yet the mantra was sung year after year, "We're family...love family, stick by family...be there for family..."  Well I am much older now, decades have passed since I was told to go where I really didn't want to go, talk to people I didn't care to and let strange folks hug me that I didn't want touching me.  There was something wrong with them back then and to date, those who manage to escape death repeatedly, still have something very wrong now!

You see, I don't oppose family even though I bring much awareness to the issues that many folks wouldn't want me speaking about and am a strong advocate for going low or no contact with relatives.  I actually do care for them, but I don't care to be mixed up in dysfunctional mess that looks like this, "Love you today because you did something for me, hate you tomorrow because you didn't do for me when I called upon you."  Then there is the tug of war kind of relationship that some have with their favorites.  Pull them near when they want to step outside the box then come up with all sorts of ways to keep them there.  The gullible fall for the tricks while the discerning know better.

So like with all other holidays especially one like the 4th of July, think twice about who will be there, how long you are staying, and what is being served, you might be better off sitting this one out if you can't stomach the drama.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Should I Go to the Party?