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Friday, May 13, 2016

Busybody, Petty Relatives

They want to know what is going on with you and your family.  They are interested in your life.  They wish for you to share just one more story...but you don't.  You learn that to some relatives, you can spill your guts, but others (the busybodies and petty types) not so much or not at all.

Busybody relatives, who don't know how to make mouths or feet be still, are not interested in us, but our stories preferably the negative ones.  They are also connected to the feelings that arise within them when we tell our stories.  So if the emotions make them feel good about themselves, they are listening and so-called helping, but if not, they are finding fault and creating distance especially during tough times. 

Think of a moment when you shared a personal experience with one of your relatives, who loves to hear about this family member and that one's highs and lows, how did you feel afterward?  You most likely felt like you gave far too much information then they gave you.  You also might have noticed he or she was only interested in anything that made them feel like they were somehow better than you or someone else you may have talked about. 

Busybody kin are like parasites, they feed off of anyone or anything willing to dish about themselves or others.  So if you have someone in your circle that doesn't mind letting you talk a lot about yourself and others, be advised he or she most likely shares your information too with others and may not say flattering things about you.

I recall a relative who loved to listen to me talk, at least so I had thought--lol, but I learned later, in a strange way, that the woman was going back to someone in her circle complaining about me.  If she had a problem with me, you would have thought she would have said it, right?  But I guess she thought I would never hear about what she had said.  For a long time, I never bothered to connect the dots and realized that she really hadn't changed much since childhood--she was still shady in the way she did and said things.  At one point, I really viewed her as someone who I could share almost anything with, but I was wrong.  After drawing near to my Lord, I learned much about her, heard about things she had told others, and now I rarely talk with this individual.

You might recognize a busybody type in your own family and don't know what to do with him or her, I challenge you to remind yourself each day to do the following:

1.  Watch your conversation with that person.
2.  Limit what you say to him or her.  In other words, don't say anything that you would not want the Internet to know about.
3.  Don't invite the relative to your home (he or she will only visit to see what you have and then go back and share with others you may or may not want to know about your lifestyle).
4.  If you really don't trust this person, stick to text or email--this way you have a paper trail.
5.  Avoid speaking to people, who also know this person, about things he or she has said or done to you.

Nicholl McGuire

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