Unhappy with Relatives?

They know how to rub you the wrong way.  You have observed your family for years do all sorts of things to get what they want when they want it.  You might be one of many who is tired of having to deal with their irresponsible decision-making, challenging mental and/or physical illnesses, and more.  Some of you reading this might be thinking, "Why was I born into this messed up family?"


Once you have reached the place in your life where you draw the line in the sand, so to speak, and refuse to put up with others' dysfunctions, you have truly arrived into adulthood.  Boy men and girl women, terms I use to describe men and women who have yet to grow up, will act like children.  These needy people are still concerned about what others think, they don't take a stand, and are unhappy when they don't get their way even when their wants are not in the best interest of self or those involved.  The less you have to deal with the immature, who refuse correction, the better!


Whether you are reading this during a holiday season or not, know that you have a choice, you can either focus on those negative relatives who love being on your radar or you can choose to ignore them and connect with people who are positive.  Relatives who make you unhappy need a time-out.  We should never force ourselves to do anything with these people that we don't want to do--never!  It doesn't matter if there is a blood tie or not.  When something is rude, crazy, disgusting, or wicked, it would make sense to feel all sorts of negative emotions about what a relative or relatives is up to.  But trouble-making people, will do almost anything to convince you that what they say or do is right and your reaction to it is wrong.  Distance yourself!  The mind games are unnecessary when you know deep in your heart that someone is wrong.


The good news is these seasons of family unhappiness are temporal depending on the offense.  Other times they can seem like forever.  Depending on the length of time you allow yourself to be unhappy with these people will affect your personality and how you treat others, so it is best to work to snap out of feelings of disappointment and seek healthy happiness elsewhere.  Healthy happiness are the things that don't cost a lot, won't make you sick, won't put you in jail, or cause further unhappiness.


So I close with this, wishing you joy and peace during this time of family storms.  May you be blessed with the desires of your heart!


Nicholl McGuire shares insightful audio/video at YouTube channel: nmenterprise7
  

When Relatives Don't Listen

No matter what anyone says, some relatives just won't listen to sound advice!  They will cry, scream, threaten, and even run away from truth.  They ignore warnings, fight with family members, make excuses, ignore phone calls, and even lie to keep from the following occuring:  exposed on a wrong,  told to do the right thing like pay back what they owe, advise on handling problematic relationships/friendships, and whatever else they are supposed to do or not do.

"I don't bother with Mom because...I can't stand my sister because...If I were you, I would stay out of my business...Who do you think you are telling me...?"  says the stiff-necked, angry person.  He or she is often defending why he/she/it is right and why what this person does or doesn't do is okay, alright and "don't worry about me."  The offended, who doesn't like truth, especially with a Christian ring to it, is going to push back.  If you are the one, who has to speak truth to a rebellious person, here's what to do:

1.  Prepare your speech and know what you are going to do if there is no change in the offending behavior(s).

2.  Use your faith to keep you focused ie.) pray in your mind before, during and after confrontation.

3.  Demonstrate self-control.  Don't argue or act like a fool because you don't like what the person is saying to you.

4.  Be a blessing, offer assistance and then follow up.  It wouldn't be fair to tell someone what they should do and you are not willing to help.

5.  Don't bad-mouth.  It isn't necessary to share your encounter with someone else particularly if you feel tempted to say every vile thing you can about this person.

6.  Stay away from an angry man or woman.  If you already know this person has threatened to harm you, don't go near him or her.  Use the phone, computer or a third party.

7.  Forgive your enemy without being difficult, evil, or temperamental.

After you have done what you can to help your stubborn relative, back off!  Don't continue to speak to this person about what is bothering you ie.) "I feel...you make me...I wish..."  If he or she is willing to reach a compromise, you will see fresh fruit, so to speak, if not, don't hang around spoiled fruit. 

Most people are aware that their actions and in-actions on a matter is why negativity has showed up in their lives.  The problem for some people is it is easier to ignore issues and hope that they go away.  But when tough love comes into play and no one is inviting The Problem to the family event, calling him or her often, asking this person to do anything for him or her, and overall acting differently toward the troubled person, sooner or later he or she will see that the family doesn't accept his or her behavior.  It is then that the person will have to make a choice either, do what's right or not.  Your Creator treats Christ believers the same way.  A believer defends his or herself when He uses his messengers to get a person who claims to be a child of God to act on His will.  In time, God distances himself from the rebellious.  Take the time to confess your sins, repent, and ask the Lord to forgive you, then forgive those who have offended you in Jesus name.

Nicholl McGuire