Monday, June 6, 2011

Always Busy? Is it Affecting Your Relationship with Your Family

Lately you have been very busy and have had little time to really sit down and converse with a friend, play with your children, or have sex with your partner.  They all may have understood at one time about your busy schedule, at least so you think, but lately they aren’t acting very understanding.   There are ways to check in with the significant people in your life just to be sure that your busyness is not affecting your relationship with them.
After work and on weekends take the time to turn off the television after you are done watching a show rather than have it blaring in the background all day.  Observe your family you will be surprised at what you will learn about them just from watching them.  Notice your children playing.  They may have developed some new skills since the last time you checked in with them.  Ask them if they wouldn’t mind your joining in on the fun.  It can be rewarding to go to them rather than expect them to come to you.  If they are excited about you taking time with them, they will talk to you and offer you a toy.  But if resentment and bitterness hasn’t set up within them, then they won’t enjoy your company rather they will act annoyed.  Try to make it part of your daily routine to visit your children’s world so as to keep resentment out.
Next, find the time to just sit by your partner, help him or her with a task, or unexpectedly give your partner a hug.  If you find that he or she moves away from you, acts as if what you are doing isn’t anything new or doesn’t bother to talk to you, then you have not been making the time for the relationship that is needed.  He or she has either stopped trying or is too busy to notice.  This type of behavior means there is trouble ahead or ongoing, so you will definitely need to ask your partner for some time alone to talk.
Plan to do things differently in all your busyness.  If you can find a way to delegate some responsibilities, cut tasks down, or simply do away with certain activities then do it.  The goal here is to make more time for your family and less time for other things. 
You will know whether you’re making a positive or negative impact on your family just by how they respond to you as mentioned earlier.  Listen to them when they complain about you canceling appointments with them or not showing up as promised.  Ignoring their concerns and acting as if everything is okay will only make matters worse. 
Lastly, if you need help remembering to schedule time with both family and friends why not include them in your planner.  Write everyone’s name down that needs attention and try to make a habit of checking in with your partner, the children, relatives and buddies.  Try to do everything you can to keep your appointment.  If setting a time to meet away from home is too much, make a phone call, email relatives and your friends with a funny card or send a good ole fashioned letter!  They will be pleasantly surprised and glad you are thinking of them!
In conclusion, don’t allow busyness to keep you from having a quality relationship with your family and friends.  Do what you can to keep the lines of communication open, because you never know when one day you will get a terrible phone call about one of them.
By Nicholl McGuire

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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