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Friday, March 20, 2015

Why Obligate Yourself to Things You Really Don't Want to Do?

The great thing about reaching mature adulthood is finally coming to a period in your life when you are finally living for you!  Of course, there are responsibilities, obligations, and other things that come up, but you can pick what you are capable of handling and what you can't put up with.  You always have the option to say "no" to what other people feel you should do and say regarding a situation that may or may not involve your assistance.  But what happens is far too often, people put themselves in tough spots because they have yet to realize what truly standing up for yourself and others really means.  Instead, they are manipulated or forced into doing things or cordially charmed into making others feel good inside while they suffer.


I think of the many people, both young and old, spiritual and nonspiritual, rich and poor, who are emotionally, physically and spiritually in bondage with others because they simply can't say things like, "No, I will not be attending the event...Sorry I can't help with that...I will not be paying for yet another thing...I just don't have the time and patience...Could you find someone else to do it?"  These Rush to Say Yes people, who are more concerned about their reputations, how someone or a group feels, or the consequences if they should say no, are typically the ones who blame others for things they have gotten themselves into.  When you know you can't handle something, why subject yourself to it in the first place?


Relationships, friendships and more have been negatively impacted by weak-minded individuals who have said yes for far too long to family, friends, bosses, church leaders, and others without giving a thought to things like: how their "yes" or "maybe" might inconvenience others, what they might have to do/sacrifice and for how long, and whether they will still have a good relationship/friendship when it is all over.


Over the years, I recall hearing in church as well as from a couple of relatives, let your yes be yes and your no be no.  When you can't do something, get out of it quickly.  Don't turn your household upside down or get angry with people because you thought you could do something, but now you can't.  Most often, individuals will understand when you choose not to attend their events, help with tasks, and do other things as long as you let them know early on.  The truth is, they really didn't want to do some of what they were asking you to do; therefore, they seek someone who will make their lives easier.  Think about that for a moment.  Is your life easy right now?  Can you benefit out of what this person or group might be asking you to do?  Is the so-called benefits worth it? 
Find freedom in doing the things you truly want to do and not because other people have obligated you to what they want.  If you feel controlled in a relationship, please do stop by: http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com



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