Sunday, March 1, 2015

Do You Have Any Normal Relatives?

I pondered this thought when I kept seeing dysfunction show up with some of my relatives while I wished to be around those I considered normal--no obvious mental handicaps, no crazy mannerisms, no loud talking, or angering others.  From the time I was a child, I recognized there was just something wrong with many family members.  I thought it quite strange that no one seemed to notice or said anything and acted as if what these people would say or do was okay.  Some were blatantly over-the-top about everything, reactive, all-too-ready to fight about whatever whenever, and it was excused.

I recalled an uncle who would often beat up his girlfriends, but always had a seat at the family table.  Then there was another uncle that would often be loud-mouthed and disrespectful to his mother and he got the pass.  I can't tell you how many relatives were intoxicated, cursing, and just downright stupid especially at family events.  "What was up with these people?" I thought.  Problems in the family, behind closed doors, weren't self-contained either, they would show up in courtrooms, on neighbors doorsteps, and elsewhere.  Someone always needed something from another relative and if he or she didn't deliver there was hell to pay!  Being a child, all I could do was watch.  There was no asking questions or commenting about "grown folks business."  I heard, "Stay in a child's place, mind your business!"

I seriously can say that "normalcy" is not a word I could ever use with some relatives and their households.  When you are in the middle of a circle with crazy people orbiting you like the sun, it can be all so draining!  You often feel alone as if you have no one to talk to because mental illness runs wild.  I would love to say that I grew up around certain family members and life was pretty normal, but it wasn't, I know that now more than ever before.  Their brainwashing has long worn off!  It took years to shake off some wicked programming and even more to stop thinking negative things. 

When you are around dysfunctional people long enough, you will find yourself thinking and behaving in ways that look more like them and less like you.  This is why I will be the first to support any one who decides they want to go No Contact with some relatives.  Going no contact means freedom from arguments, crazy and toxic relatives, and you don't have to worry about who lied, cried, died, etc.  You are also no longer concerned about someone getting murdered or jailed.  You stop caring and are free to live your life!  I realize what God means when he says, "Turn your burdens over to me and I will give you rest."

When you are a child, you have no choice, but to deal with what appears to be normal folks in your family.  But when you get out of your small town and small-minded thinking, you are opened up to a world where things you thought were normal growing up isn't and if you aren't careful you might fall into a trap of additional craziness! 

Some of you recall the day when you discovered that certain people were not what relatives said they were, when what your family called tradition really wasn't, what a relative said or did to you was evil, etc.  It is quite liberating when you are no longer under what someone's false definition of normal is.  So I pray that those of you who seek healthy relationships, a quiet life, and much blessing, get what you have been craving now and forever!

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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