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Thursday, December 25, 2014

When Relatives Don't Listen and the Advisers Who Care About Them

As much as we want our loved ones to do what's right, especially when it comes to caring for themselves and others, some will refuse correction and attempt to discredit us because they don't want to do what's right.

I have watched rebellious relatives look for fault in myself and others because they knew what we said was honest and wise, but didn't want to change bad habits, toxic thoughts, or exercise self-control when dealing with others. 

Anyone who comes to a family function and chooses to share details about one's personal life with others, is setting themselves up for advice whether he or she wants to listen or not.  This is why many mature individuals don't have much to say about their feelings, personal habits, and more, because they know that if they aren't willing to change, there is nothing anyone can say to them that will make them want to do anything different.  They are not interested in debates, defending themselves, prefer not to experience the uncomfortable feelings that come along with being told what to do.  So they sit, observe, don't say much, and may even reflect on the dumb things they did in life, but one will never know. 

Some parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts just won't sit idly by and let young ones live and let live, they will say and do what they can to assist them.  However, this isn't typical behavior from elders, most rather let know-it-all and rebellious types fall on their faces first, then learn from lessons, before offering to pick them up.

Those familiar with biblical scripture know that pride does come before a fall.  When a wise one is witnessing a relative, who is standing on his or her soapbox preaching, boasting, or attempting to advise others while still dealing with issues themselves, notice he or she says nothing.  Why quarrel with someone who believes that he or she is doing everything right in his or her life?

Family gatherings can bring out the worst or the best in people depending on how stable or unstable in their minds they are.  Some family members wrestle with unresolved issues of the past that stem from things like: rejection, resentment, lies, abuse, and more, so they might not speak well of self and others.  Most often, their intent is to be on their best behavior, but sometimes internal and external disputes cause them to speak what's on their mind to anyone willing to listen.

When you find yourself struggling with those loved ones, who really aren't interested in being advised and more concerned with voicing their issues, if you have a faith, pray for them.  But whatever you do, don't allow their issues to affect your personal life--you have come too far to turn back now!

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.   

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