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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Problems - You Know What to Do But You Don't Do It

Crying on a loved ones shoulder, calling people up to help you, reading articles, and commenting on YouTube videos, and yet you still are in the mess that you are in!  Some people have warned that if you keep doing what you are doing, things will only get worse.  Others have turned a deaf ear to you and no longer want to hear about your problems. 

You spend much time thinking about how to solve a problem or many, but what might be one of your biggest frustrations is not having the will to implement what you have learned.  At first you are delighted with the suggestions and feel empowered with all the knowledge, but a day or two later you fight with what you are not doing and what you should do.  The side of your brain that convinces you not to do something because it is new, different, cost money, and you don't know how others might respond, seems to always win.

Here is yet another bit of advice to help with defeating this hesitation within to avoid solving your issues.

1.  Reflect back on how you got in the mess that you are currently in and what could you have done differently.  What is in your power now to make some changes?  Back when issues first started, you may have had limitations and felt the need to rely on someone or something, is there still that same need or can you do some things on your own?  If so, then start working toward doing them independently without calling a relative or friend to validate everything you are or aren't doing.

2.  Forget what someone or the group told you to hinder progress.  "What if" statements and "You should" phrases with selfish motives will only keep you doing what you don't want to do.  For instance, a man makes an announcement that he no longer wants to keep working a certain position in the church and he really feels led by God to do something different.  If he is determined, no amount of persuasion or enticements is going to keep him where he knows he is no longer called to be.  He recognizes that his time of service in a certain position has a limit.  Do you know when you should step down, move out, relocate, or start something new?  If you are a believer, have you been taking the time to pray and meditate on holy scriptures or have you been doing your own thing lately?  Spend 20 minutes a day focused on your prayer life and receiving a word from your Creator while you take baby steps to get things done you know you should. 

3.  Notice the signs around you that warn you about your life.  Just as there are road signs that tell us not to turn, to yield, to stop, and more, what are your life warning signs telling you these days?  Is it health issues every time you eat a certain thing?  Is there a desire to learn something that you keep putting off?  Are there people around you that are trying to help, but you keep telling them, "I can do it...I will be okay."  Sometimes people looking on the outside in, know more about our situations when it comes to self, love, work, and play, then we do.  When do you stop making excuses and get to work on you while removing bad habits that are hindering progress?

4.  Create your to-do list and post it somewhere so that you can see it everyday.  If there is a project, item, or something else that needs to come out of a closet, garage, attic, storage, or somewhere else, take it out, clean it up, and start doing something with it.  Tackle the to-do list one day at a time. 

5.  Cut out and cut off distractions.  Think about this, if you had an emergency situation, would you want someone who could help you continue to play a video game, watch TV, surf the Internet, work long hours at a job, or talk on the phone?  So why are you doing these things to yourself?  Make an appointment with yourself to get things done.  Will you start every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday or daily between the hours of 5 a.m. and 7 a.m., during a lunch hour or 7 p.m. and 9 p.m.? 

6.  Encourage yourself to achieve accomplishments by surrounding yourself around like-minded people, visit places that can help you meet goals, and seek useful tools that will also assist you with getting things done!  What have you been missing out on that you should have been buying or doing?

7.  Don't let anyone or anything take all your money.  Designate a portion to go toward the things that you need to solve your problems.  What might those be?  For instance, if counseling is needed, a class, a tutor, babysitter, or legal assistance, then create a fund for your specific need.  Do you have a separate bank account or an envelope system to tend to your needs?  Don't borrow from it and don't tell others about it who can't help you contribute to that fund.  Also, seek out free products and services as well.

Now that you have seven more pieces of advice, don't put off what you could do now, address the issues in your life sooner rather than later!  Remember, think about the issues, note solutions, create your to-do list, make any necessary connections to people, places and things that will help you solve your problems while leaving the naysayers, enablers, and ignorant behind!

Nicholl McGuire has authored When Mothers Cry, Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic, Laboring to Love Myself, and Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate as well as other books.

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