What is Paranoid Personality Disorder? (Mental Health Guru)

Is someone in your family often suspicious of others?  Thinking that relatives and family friends are up to something, they may tell others of their suspicions.  They are often accusing people of stealing something, planning to do something to harm them, or they believe that some around them are enemies.  These paranoid types will draw you into their imagined scenarios of what they think someone might be up to.  Although you may tell them that you don't believe that the accused would say or do something like what they are suggesting, they will insist that they believe otherwise.

Sometimes much proof must be provided in order to counter the paranoid person's personal beliefs.  Even with proof, these people will remain adamant about their suspicions.  If a small issue comes up with someone they believe is an enemy, they will blow the situation up while recruiting others to go along with their programming.  They will take on an attitude of, "I told you so."  Despite facts, the paranoid person who believes that there are people out to get him or her will not back down from lies and exaggerations they have conjured up about others. 

The best solution in dealing with people like this is the following: don't share personal details about your life, avoid being alone with them, record conversations if necessary, and whenever possible distance yourself if you notice the paranoid person is acting nervous, telling false stories, or accusing others of things that are untrue.  Politely excuse yourself and go about your business.  Most individuals like this, don't believe that they have any mental disorder.

Nicholl McGuire shares personal experiences on Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate blog, click here.

Unhappy with Relatives?

They know how to rub you the wrong way.  You have observed your family for years do all sorts of things to get what they want when they want it.  You might be one of many who is tired of having to deal with their irresponsible decision-making, challenging mental and/or physical illnesses, and more.  Some of you reading this might be thinking, "Why was I born into this messed up family?"


Once you have reached the place in your life where you draw the line in the sand, so to speak, and refuse to put up with others' dysfunctions, you have truly arrived into adulthood.  Boy men and girl women, terms I use to describe men and women who have yet to grow up, will act like children.  These needy people are still concerned about what others think, they don't take a stand, and are unhappy when they don't get their way even when their wants are not in the best interest of self or those involved.  The less you have to deal with the immature, who refuse correction, the better!


Whether you are reading this during a holiday season or not, know that you have a choice, you can either focus on those negative relatives who love being on your radar or you can choose to ignore them and connect with people who are positive.  Relatives who make you unhappy need a time-out.  We should never force ourselves to do anything with these people that we don't want to do--never!  It doesn't matter if there is a blood tie or not.  When something is rude, crazy, disgusting, or wicked, it would make sense to feel all sorts of negative emotions about what a relative or relatives is up to.  But trouble-making people, will do almost anything to convince you that what they say or do is right and your reaction to it is wrong.  Distance yourself!  The mind games are unnecessary when you know deep in your heart that someone is wrong.


The good news is these seasons of family unhappiness are temporal depending on the offense.  Other times they can seem like forever.  Depending on the length of time you allow yourself to be unhappy with these people will affect your personality and how you treat others, so it is best to work to snap out of feelings of disappointment and seek healthy happiness elsewhere.  Healthy happiness are the things that don't cost a lot, won't make you sick, won't put you in jail, or cause further unhappiness.


So I close with this, wishing you joy and peace during this time of family storms.  May you be blessed with the desires of your heart!


Nicholl McGuire shares insightful audio/video at YouTube channel: nmenterprise7
  

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Doubtful about Celebrating Holidays with Relatives?

So the invitation to come celebrate the Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year's holidays with people that may or may not be a part of your bloodline has been offered.  Yet, you are hesitant about attending.  There are good reasons to stay home like peace and quiet for starters and your mind will come up with many more, but there are also good reasons to be at one or all of these events especially if you have any of the following: a small business, large family, not much money, unresolved issues, and feelings of loneliness and depression not excluding suicidal thoughts.

Attending a family event just might be very beneficial to you if the pros outweigh the cons. 

1.  Networking opportunities.

Whether you are unemployed, interested in starting a new business, or doing more with a hobby, attending a family event is a great way to test an idea, learn something new, and establish potential contacts/customers/investors.  Remember, many successful businesses were built based on who owners knew that could help them.  Who does your family and friends know?

2.  Receive updates from relatives and family friends straight from them.

Why bother to keep getting stories about your family members through others when you can see how they are doing for yourself?  This might also be a good time to clear up some rumors too.

3.  Unexpected gifts and surprises.

You never know what seeing someone you haven't been around in a long time might do to that person.  There could be a blessing right around the corner coming from a favorite relative and you don't even know it.  So take those phone numbers offered to you and use them.

4.  Free food.

If you don't feel like cooking or your refrigerator and snack cabinet doesn't look so great, why not eat somewhere else?  Stay for awhile then take some leftovers home for the next day.

5.  The possibility of meeting someone new.

Singles, relatives just might bring friends.  If so, take advantage of the opportunity.

6.  Squash old issues.

What better time then to show up to a family event with a huge smile on your face, emotions high, and happy to be around relatives?  You can use this good time to squeeze in a few "I apologize" statements and "I love you, so glad to see you."  If you owe someone money, bring some, if not all the cash you borrowed.  If you asked for their items to use and never returned them, gather them up and take the products to that person.

7.  Meet new relatives.

Far too many people take meeting new relatives lightly, but knowing one's relatives is important.  It can be very easy to connect with someone who you didn't know was a relative while dating.  Oftentimes, people miss out on great opportunities because they didn't know that they had an aunt, cousin or some other relative working somewhere.

So if you are doubtful about celebrating the holidays due to any number of reasons, try to talk yourself out of the negative self-talk.  Stop by to see relatives if only but an hour or two if you live close by.  Even if the welcome is dismal and not much is going on, consider this, life is too short and if someone died tomorrow, at least you can say, "I made the effort to see him/her--no guilty conscious here!"

If you can't make it to see relatives, at least give them a courtesy call, explain your situation, and wish them well.

Nicholl McGuire shares audio/video on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.
 

Relatives who like to Blow Things Out of Proportion

Be careful what you to say to them, relatives who love to take what most people would consider a simple statement and make a big deal about nothing.


Most likely family members who have problems with others will not be positive about anything that one might share about another.  For example, if you were to describe a favorite relative to a trouble-making family member like this, "She is a nice person, she looks good, she helps you and others, and she has done well in life."  The bitter, unforgiving, envious, or angry family member will have something to say that is the total opposite or downplay what you say.  You are not permitted to say anything positive when in the presence of a negative relative.


Some people have got into screaming matches, physical fights, and became distant from relatives as a result of a person who has nothing better to do than to blow most statements out of proportion.  There have been family divisions that have lasted for decades because someone was offended, lied, or exaggerated a story or something that was done supposedly to another.


Whether at a holiday event, living with a relative, working with one, or attending the same church, watch as well as pray that God will cover your conversation with all and cut your conversation short with those who love taking what people say and putting their own spin on it!


Nicholl McGuire author of When Mothers Cry and Know Your Enemy: The Christians Critic.  Also, check out her blog: http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com

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