Family Fights

It happens, family fighting.  You say something or they say something and now everyone says something.  You can run, but you can’t hide.  The words follow after you.  The emotions and re-runs of events permeate your mind, then what?  A pity party, the blame game, a moment of silence, a physical altercation, self-sabotage, or go make peace?  Your choice.

Don't Buy Everyone a Gift Whether Physically or Mentally When You Have Major Debt

We shop for others whether in our minds or in our wallets.  Then when the money is spent or we ponder far too long on gift-giving and do way too much research on what we could do, then we wish we hadn't--time and money are valuable!

        "I thank you for this but...I wish you hadn't...I didn't need this...Could you take this back, my child doesn't play with these...Did you think before you got this for me?"

Oh, the voices from relatives and friends who don't bite their tongues!  You know you could have used your hard-earned money or credit for someone else, mainly yourself.  "I could have used this thing and that one instead of buying for you or your child," you think.

For a moment, reflect on the past when you had absolutely no money to buy anyone anything.  How did you feel?  Were you made to feel guilty by others?  Did you allow controlling individuals to talk you into thinking about them next year?  Did you vow you would make everyone happy by buying everyone something?

Today some of you will be free from all of the bondage you placed upon yourself.  Something inside your being doesn't want to be a slave to debt!  The quiet voice within keeps moving you not to buy this person and that one.  Well, heed the voice and your gut feeling, "Don't do it!" at least not yet for a select few people.  You see, birthdays will come around and "thinking of you" moments throughout the year, then what? You will be paying back your debt and those moments will come and go.  What most people don't realize it is the unexpected, unanticipated gift-giving that makes all the difference in the world.  When one is in the state of loneliness, he or she would love for someone to drop by, call, or send a gift in the mail throughout the year.  Most families have more than enough during this time of year ie.) a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs, food in their bellies, and a bed to rest.  Many families are too busy trying to give stuff away or sell --new, used, broken or dare I say it, stolen.

So why would you permit yourself to be pressured into buying things for everyone closest to you?  Why would you even spend money on pricey gifts for a select few when you know you owe people money?  The best gift for anyone is to pay back what you owe whether that is a company or an individual.

Take a look at your finances.  Think about what those around you have promised to help you with, give you, etc.  Then look back at your finances.  Take a moment to reflect on all you have already done ie.) service, freebies, "above and beyond" tasks, a listening ear, etc.  Consider what others have told you about certain individuals you were thinking about buying for "not needing another thing."  If you already got some folks some things, take them back or sell them for a higher price online and then pay back what you owe others.  Then check your list, that is if you have one, to see what you thought you were going to buy then talk yourself out of buying them or research as to why those items wouldn't be a good purchase (I did this myself and saved $$$).  Then fold the list up and place it in a Bible symbolically placing your burden in God's hands, if you don't have a faith then throw it away, or give the list to someone else who can afford to spend much money on gifts for everyone.  Remember the point of this blog entry, be free, my friend.

Now is the time to cast your burdens away!  Don't permit yourself to be grieved by your circumstances any longer.   Pay the bills you owe.  Avoid attending functions that will only bring out the worse in you.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a quiet holiday season at home.  Besides, if you go anywhere, you will feel uneasy, possibly jealous, and brought into someone else's drama about, "All I do for these people and they couldn't at least wash the dishes!  I wish that I had gotten this gift from your mom, what am I going to do with it?  You know your Uncle buys cheap gifts (sigh).  Where did your Aunt get this at a flea market?"

Be free my friend, be free.

Nicholl McGuire

Black Friday and Cyber Monday Shopping: 3 Departments You Don't Want to Pass up!

Whether you are planning to shop before, during or after Black Friday offline or online, you will need to have some idea on how to save time and money. Learn a thing or two about shopping for Black Friday deals and Cyber Monday bargains!

Year after year online shoppers seek out the best deals on things like electronics, media, clothing, household goods and more only to be disappointed with some of their finds.  Sometimes what appears to be a great deal ends up being nothing more than a headache.  Why?  Because shoppers fail to shop with their minds, rather than their hearts.

Clothing

Most cheaper goods, slow moving items, and just plain old ugly things tend to have the best deals.  However, those rare finds on quality merchandise can catch you off guard.  So you will need to be on the look out for the items you want the most.  Try opening up several windows of websites you like to shop and then compare prices.  Also, use comparison shopping sites and word of mouth for the best deals.  I personally surf forums, blogs and make phone calls to relatives and friends to see what they know.  Typical major retailers that have reasonable deals include: Walmart, Target, Kmart, Kohls, Burlington Coat Factory, TJ Maxx, JCPenny, Old Navy, etc.  However, do try the smaller businesses and lesser known names simply by conducting a search including what you are looking for.  See this advice site on shopping for men’s clothes.

Household appliances

You will need to have the make and model of the item you seek to purchase.  If you don’t have an idea of what you want and you are just looking, then at least note your findings.  Start by listing the brand, the model, and the cost you see at stores like: Home Depot, Lowes and Sears just to name a few.

Toys

There is always some deal on select toys throughout the year.  You have to know what your child really wants and also how much can you afford to spend on a toy that he or she most likely will outgrow.  I personally stay away from items that you have to keep buying something new for such as a gaming console.  Children will see the latest game and before long they are asking for another, then another and another.  If you are going to get an electronic device at least seek out those items that are already used.  I have found that many pre-owned items are far less than the Black Friday deals–that is unless you are one of the lucky ones that got something for dirt cheap or for free new!  

I took the liberty to post some interesting and very useful information on general Black Friday shopping and included links to the most popular stores here.

There are many places to shop, but oftentimes little cash, so do check your family’s wardrobe, your household, and your children’s room to find out what they need most rather than what they want.  You will feel better about your purchases when you do this while keeping guilt feelings away.

Nicholl McGuire

Unsaved, Lost Family Members - What to do? - YouTube

Are you a believer?  Most likely, God is going to move you to pray or speak to a relative about God this holiday season. Unsaved, Lost Family Members - What to do? - YouTube

Tis the Season Foolishness Abound - Watch as Well as Pray - YouTube

Tis the Season Foolishness Abound - Watch as Well as Pray - YouTube

For Anyone Who Has a Gas Problem Due to Thanksgiving /Christmas Dinner

It happens.  The more some eat, the more they got to go!  But sometimes a gas attack comes before the storm.  Help someone or yourself out, and get some deodorizers to keep the odor down during those family gatherings!! Start with deodorizer pads for your chairs and for others their behinds.

Amazon.com: GasBGon Flatulence Filter Seat Cushion, Patented - (The Winner's Circle): Home & Kitchen

Flatulence Deodorizer Pads

7 Ways to Break Free from a Controlling Father

How will you emotionally and physically set yourself free from your domineering dad?

You have to love a dad who cares about you and wants what is best for you.  But like mothers, fathers sometimes don't know when to let go and let God too!  Some papas just love their children so much that they can't see when they are actually causing more harm than good.  These men usually came from backgrounds where their own fathers didn't give them much attention or things; therefore they feel like they have to make up what was lost in their young lives with their own children.  This is when the problems come into play.  Dad doesn't want son bothering him about money, yet dad gives son anyway.  Dad is irritated with his daughter for the life decisions that she makes, but he keeps bailing her out.  You may have a relationship with your dad that isn't bad, but isn't all that good either and you just want him to stay out of your business and let you live your own life!  So what do you do?

One.  Stop sharing so much of your personal life with him.  Maybe you aren't directly talking to him about all that is wrong with your life, and if this is the case, then your mother or someone else is taking your information back to him.  This is why he feels like he can roll his eyes, take a deep breath and formulate his unflattering opinion about you, who you know and what you do.

Two.  Don't ask him for the car, money, housing, or any other help when you are in trouble.  When you do this, you are telling your controlling dad, "I can't take care of myself, I need you.  You were right, I am an idiot!"  So what is a controlling dad going to do?  Beat you over the head with your requests!  "If you would just do what I tell you, you wouldn't be in this mess!   I am tired of you asking for my stuff!"  He yells, yet reluctantly he helps you out anyway while you talk negatively about him to others--like father like son/daughter.

Three.  Don't help your dad bring you down.  Ask yourself, "How am I helping my dad enable my issues?"  Are you expecting him to fund your drug, alcohol and other addictions?  Do you tell him stories about your sexual conquests and how you manipulate or abuse your partners?  Do you excuse what you do when you are away from him as being "okay" or "all good," because you saw him do the same things when you were growing up?  Well, if you are laughing it up with him and thinking he is "cool" and "alright with what I do," think again, he is just waiting for that opportunity to find fault with you!  When he does, he will name-call and talk ugly about you to others (as if he has always done right by your mother and siblings).  Someone once told me, "Don't give him a stick to crack your head with."

Four.  Avoid dropping everything and then running to his aid.  Once you start something, the older he gets, he will expect it.  "Your my son and my daughter, you should help your old man.  Look at all the years I took care of you!"  You make promises about coming over and doing this or that for him, he will remind you of what you said and tell others when you don't deliver.  "Look at that unreliable #$%^%#@!  If I told him once, I told him twice!"  Then what is he going to do when you don't keep your promises?  Start praising your siblings who do come to his rescue.  Controlling dads aren't self-esteem boosters!  So don't make any promises you can't keep.

Five.  Relocate.  If you live with or near a controlling dad, you might want to relocate.  You see, sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder.  He may not have appreciated you much when you were around, but now you and he have some space to work out your differences.  When he sees that you are doing well and have a nice family, job, etc. he will either admire and respect you or grow jealous of you which only encourages more controlling behavior such as: giving you unnecessary advice, spreading negative criticism, and conducting evil speaking about others who are doing better than him to you (as if you care)!?

Six.  Forget the holidays.  Visit your dad when there is no shine on him--that's right no shine, no phony happy family picture taking, gift exchanges, and more.  When you jump when he (or your mother) says, "jump" what you are saying is that, "I want to make you happy, so I will celebrate the holidays because you want me to and I am still that spineless little kid who coward every time you walked into the room."  You are a woman or man now probably bigger and/or stronger.  What is he going to do if you don't come to visit him on his birthday, Thanksgiving or Christmas?  The idea, when dealing with a controlling father, is to undo the things you did to help him remain in control of your life.  Remember, don't talk yourself into doing things that only give him more power.

Seven.  Don't fear him.  When one is guilty of acting fearful of his or her manipulative father, he or she might use lies, excuses, blame siblings, and do other things to try to hide fear while hoping not to offend him.  If you are an adult, paying your own bills and have no need of your father (other than an occasional moment where you want to just touch-base with him), then what is there to fear?  Childhood dramas take up too much of our time and energy and only feed the monster.  If an animal senses fear, he will attack.  If being in your dad's presence brings out the worse in you, then stay away!  It doesn't matter what your relatives, siblings and others think, you have to live in your body not them.  Sometimes controlling people can trigger all sorts of things in us that we didn't know we have such as: alters, nervous tension, suicidal thoughts, rage, etc.  If you have a faith, use it to bring you to a genuine place of healing in Jesus name!

You may be able to think of some more ways to break free from your father.  I suggest you start putting some of these suggestions and more to good use!  Know that people will talk, others who are fearful of him will try to keep you under his thumb, and even your mother/step-mother/girlfriend will try to get you to draw near to him, but whatever others say and do, you know you and what you can tolerate.

Set yourself emotionally and physically free from your father for good!  Sometimes there will be setbacks and you might even cry and get angry at yourself for slipping back into old habits, but forgive yourself, and then get back on track.  By breaking free from a controlling person, you will be better able to see the damage that this person has caused in your life then you will be well on your way toward healing from your past.

Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and others including Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and When Mothers Cry.  She has also recently self-published a book on Amazon entitled, "Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic"

You've Been Tricked: Occult Holidays And Sabbats in Your Family

You celebrate year after year occult holidays.  Maybe you don't believe this, but you need to do some research.  Most of us were once in the dark, but after years of research, praying and fasting, some learn quickly that they have been deceived into believing that someone else's idea of harmless fun is really bringing a curse on self and family.

Traditions can be broken and people can be delivered from annual holiday stress simply by not subscribing to the following: 

Occult Holidays And Sabbats

Learn more and be free!

When Family Work Together

Credit: Nicholl McGuire

 

It can be a blessing and a curse working with family.  When I attended this outdoor event in Columbus GA, I noticed that most of these Tahiti dancers, as seen in the photographs, were related.  I can only imagine what it was like behind the scenes preparing for this hour long event. 

"No, you are doing it wrong...get it together...stop slacking...do it like this...keep that up and you won't be in the group!  Okay, now we got it--yeah showtime!" 

There were young as well as older dancers moving hips, bouncing, jumping, etc.  After standing in the hot sun for about 30 minutes or so, I couldn't help but think about my own family doing things together as far back as I could remember.  They were making large dinners, serving, decorating, selling stuff, building, painting, errand running, etc. for others.  Relatives worked together (or apart depending on whether they could get along or not) on some project or event and there was always moments of negativity showing up making one want to cover their mouths, ears or run away!  I recall the tension in the atmosphere being so bad at times and I thought to myself, "Why bother?  Why keep doing the same thing year after year with people you know you don't like or get along with?" 

I think sometimes people permit tradition, especially during holidays, to override common sense.  There comes a point prior to a holiday or some other time of family togetherness when you are sitting back thinking about that "Wonderful time when.." that you should really be thinking about the headache, heartache, yelling, and all the ugliness that came along with the family event.  You should ask yourself, "Is it really worth it?"  Now for some, they would say, "Yes" because all they see is how they might benefit.  But for others, they should say, "No."  No tradition, person, place or thing is worth causing one a potential heart attack, a physical fight, loss of money, or something else just because someone or a group thinks that it is.  Be wise before you plan this holiday season!

Subliminal Messages, Freemasonry, Secret Societies, Fraternities, Occult Activities

Subliminal Messages, Freemasonry, Secret Societies, Fraternities, Occult Activities

7 Good Reasons to Cut Off Certain Relatives

They are the trouble-makers.  Certain relatives will go along with everyone's program as long as there is some benefit to them.  Grandma pays her son or daughter to take her shopping, clean her home and do other things, yet some relatives think that grandma's children are so good to her, but they don't know the truth.  An aunt shows up after years of not coming around the family, only for some relatives to find out that she has a few too many skeletons in her closet and now everyone is upset that she wants to bring up the past.  Maybe you have a nephew, cousin, sister or brother who is always available to do something for the family, but behind all the smiling is one who is a gossip and a liar and would love to do nothing more than to cut everyone off.  These people are in our families, the ones who love, who hate, and who manipulate.  So when do we cut off certain individuals irregardless of their titles and just get on with our lives?     

1.  When the majority of their talk is about how they want to get even with another family member while trying to enlist your help.  Most likely, this person also has a long history of lying.
2.  When they see you as a walking bank for their personal needs as well as their partner, children, friends and anyone else who supposedly needs something.
3.  When you are improving yourself mentally, physically and spiritually and all they can do is say, "Why are you doing that...Why can't you do...I wouldn't do that...When are you going to come and help me..."
4.  When they take and take and never make a deposit toward you or your family--no visits, no acknowledgements, no financial assistance, no nothing!
5.  When they don't bother to respond to email, text, phone, snail mail, or anything else.  Then when you finally do see them in person, they say, "Oh I've been so busy...let's get together."  But they never do.
6.  When they don't act interested in you in person: no smile, no conversation and no sitting or standing near you.  If you hadn't wrote them out of your will, now is a good time.
7.  When they are using you while everyone else has long black-balled them out the family.  Could it be that for once everyone else is right and you are wrong for keeping them around you and your family?

These seven things to think about concerning those deceptive relatives in your circles will most likely make some of you think of seven more good reasons as to why certain people should have long been put out of your life.  When we think deeply about these individuals, it hurts that for so many years we permitted negativity from others to permeate our minds and hearts.  If you have a faith, you know that keeping anyone or anything with a negative energy around you, can set you back spiritually.  Do take the time to pray for your family and those who you consider your enemies.  Remember if he or she is hungry or thirsty in your presence, care for them.  But whatever you do, don't go beyond that or you just might put yourself at risk of doing something you might later regret.  Stay in your Father's will.

Nicholl McGuire
Author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic

Feeling Deserted, Lonely or Misunderstood? Do You Have a Faith? - YouTube

Feeling Deserted, Lonely or Misunderstood? Do You Have a Faith? - YouTube