They are the trouble-makers. Certain relatives will go along with everyone's program as long as there is some benefit to them. Grandma pays her son or daughter to take her shopping, clean her home and do other things, yet some relatives think that grandma's children are so good to her, but they don't know the truth. An aunt shows up after years of not coming around the family, only for some relatives to find out that she has a few too many skeletons in her closet and now everyone is upset that she wants to bring up the past. Maybe you have a nephew, cousin, sister or brother who is always available to do something for the family, but behind all the smiling is one who is a gossip and a liar and would love to do nothing more than to cut everyone off. These people are in our families, the ones who love, who hate, and who manipulate. So when do we cut off certain individuals irregardless of their titles and just get on with our lives?
1. When the majority of their talk is about how they want to get even with another family member while trying to enlist your help. Most likely, this person also has a long history of lying.
2. When they see you as a walking bank for their personal needs as well as their partner, children, friends and anyone else who supposedly needs something.
3. When you are improving yourself mentally, physically and spiritually and all they can do is say, "Why are you doing that...Why can't you do...I wouldn't do that...When are you going to come and help me..."
4. When they take and take and never make a deposit toward you or your family--no visits, no acknowledgements, no financial assistance, no nothing!
5. When they don't bother to respond to email, text, phone, snail mail, or anything else. Then when you finally do see them in person, they say, "Oh I've been so busy...let's get together." But they never do.
6. When they don't act interested in you in person: no smile, no conversation and no sitting or standing near you. If you hadn't wrote them out of your will, now is a good time.
7. When they are using you while everyone else has long black-balled them out the family. Could it be that for once everyone else is right and you are wrong for keeping them around you and your family?
These seven things to think about concerning those deceptive relatives in your circles will most likely make some of you think of seven more good reasons as to why certain people should have long been put out of your life. When we think deeply about these individuals, it hurts that for so many years we permitted negativity from others to permeate our minds and hearts. If you have a faith, you know that keeping anyone or anything with a negative energy around you, can set you back spiritually. Do take the time to pray for your family and those who you consider your enemies. Remember if he or she is hungry or thirsty in your presence, care for them. But whatever you do, don't go beyond that or you just might put yourself at risk of doing something you might later regret. Stay in your Father's will.
Nicholl McGuire
Author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic
Jana's Bachelorette Trip
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