Sunday, March 23, 2014

Using Family Members and Friends as Buffers to Protect One's Favorite People

It's easier to point the finger at everyone else when a wrong has been commited against you, but at the person who really caused your head to hurt, your back to ache, or your mouth to curse.  Your favorite person had been there when a relative died, loved you when no else did, bought things for you, and encouraged you with flattery.  Some people will never see any wrong in their "beloved, favorite, best" family members and friends.  However, people change and what we think we know about mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, and best friends isn't always accurate.  A mother can talk negatively about her daughters and sons, an aunt can lie and steal five days a week while attending church on Sunday, and a best friend can be as dirty as Judas while giving his brother a kiss on the cheek.

If one was to record audio, setup video, and have 17 witnesses hidden while an interview took place between a favorite relative or friend and the matriarch of the family and the question was asked, "What do you really think of..." some individuals, who were deemed as favorites, would be shocked to find out the truth.  "Grandmother was really nothing more than a liar...daddy was a drunk...mother was a hypocrite...and sister was crazy."  Others would digress, lie, defend, or offend while accusing the person of setting up the interview as being an agitator.  The truth hurts--someone finally would have the courage to say what they really wanted to after years of being let down by a favorite while still holding on to the "good ole' days" kind of memories. 

The truth about family hurts and the self-righteous, prideful and downright evil would never want lies, secrets and mayhem to be exposed.  But why?  Because for years they worked hard to create a stellar reputation and when it is threatened the need to retailiate arises.  When people, who were once good, turn bad, they work hard sometimes to keep from the majority of relatives and friends from finding out what they are really about nowadays.  Think of some of the good turned bad in your own family for a moment.  Who are the gatekeepers in these people's lives presently?  If you were to be critical of those individuals or point out wrong-doing, would you be considered a black sheep or maybe you already are?

So when drama begins to show up and show out with some families, those who are protective of their "favorite people" will use others as buffers.  They will redirect anger that should have gone toward their favorites, to those like: the weak and gullible, others who are caught in the middle or play both sides, people who have nothing to do with anything but stumbled on everything, or those they consider trouble-makers.  These people are the buffers, whether they know it or not, the ones who are meant to catch the anger that is pent up for mom, dad, favorite brother, best aunt, and whoever else.  They won't face the people who have truly hurt them due to fear.  In addition, they can't face the truth that these people are no longer favorites in their lives.  They lie to themselves.

You can keep out of the drama that playing favorites brings once you learn who the supporters are of crooked family members and friends.  You can stay out of the buffer zone, meaning catching someone's twisted wrath, by not trying to play peacemaker when God himself is not even calling you to that sort of assignment with certain family members and friends.  You will know what your place is when you see that the same people's names continue to come out of the mouth of a single person, whether these people are actively causing drama or not, the person doing the calling out is the one who is looking to find anyone or anything to unleash on in his or her effort to protect the Queen B, or in other words, his or her favorite person or group.  

Nicholl McGuire

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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