Monday, December 30, 2013

What to do if an in-law does not like you

It happens, people will not like you no matter what you do including in-laws.  There are mothers, fathers, stepmothers and stepfathers who just won't accept the odd, strange, different color, ethnicity, big, little, educated, uneducated, or poor walking through their door.  So what do you do?  Move on with your life!

We spend far too much time trying to figure out how to deal with people that we don't bother thinking about how not to deal with them.  You aren't required to go over your spouse's families' home just because you married him or her.  You don't have to sit down and break bread with people who don't mind joking about the way you look or how you talk.  Your spouse wants to be with his or her family so much, let him or her!  Opt out sometimes.  Don't try to persuade your partner not to visit relatives, but encourage him or her.  You never want to be accused of keeping your partner away from his or her family.  Use your free time wisely--visit your own family and friends, catch up with some chores around the house, tweak your business, or simply relax.  Think, when will you get a quiet house to yourself again?

Now when it comes to having to deal with an in-law that doesn't like you, you can do the following:

1.  Object to what he or she is saying that offends you.

2.  Communicate your concerns openly and honestly about what bothers you and pray that your partner will be understanding.

3.  Busy yourself when this person is around such as: go out of the home, step away and talk on your cell-phone, assist others around you, or bring something to entertain you like headphones and an mp3 player.  You can also schedule to work on the holidays so that you don't have to attend family gatherings.

4.  Allow the voicemail to catch all phone calls from the in-law.

5.  Don't respond to any written correspondence or phone calls if you know this person is known to lie and spread rumors--always have a witness.

6.  Avoid going to the in-laws home and don't invite this person to your home especially when you have had a falling out with this person.  If your spouse has an issue with it, then you will have to question your partner's loyalty?  He or she can easily make arrangements to see his or her family without bringing them to the family home.  If mom/dad/siblings wins and the partner welcomes them despite their disrespectful behavior, you can always pack--this sends a loud message to your partner, compromise or else. 

But for those who need a little more than what this blog entry is providing, see the following link:

What to do if an in-law does not like you

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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