Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Help is on the Way, But Then Again Maybe Not - When Family Consider You a Burden

Whether you have had far too many moments in your life when you have been down on your luck, short of cash, in and out of relationships, or caused much drama that left some family members wishing you were dead, there will be those relatives and friends who will help you until it hurts.  However, there comes a point when favor wears off and all kind deeds have been exhausted.

Some family and friends will see to it that you don't remain in your mess, but helping you is going to cost you.  Maybe you are working off the help you have received, as you read this, or maybe you have yet to serve those individuals who believe that what they are asking of you is justified.  However, sooner or later the helper is going to expect something.

We need to think once, twice, and even a third time before asking relatives for assistance especially money.  Some people will help you in small ways, barely giving you enough to do much of anything, before requesting you do something for them.  People like this are really not helping, but seeking out benefits.  "What benefit is it letting him stay here?  What can she do for me?"  Think like these people for a moment, "What am I doing for these people?"  When your burdens are greater than the benefit, that is when people begin to change.  They start withdrawing their assistance.  They look for excuses as to why you can't stay in their residence pass a certain time period.  The drama begins to increase--a clear sign to move/quit asking/ stop borrowing/ as soon as you can!

The following is several things you can do when you are facing hard times and have to deal with certain difficult relatives for a time:

1.  Plan your next move, career, business, etc. from start to finish so that you will not have to go back and ask for any assistance from family!

2.  Network with people outside of your family and friends.  You will find that many are more knowledgable and can find resources that will help you out of your situation much faster.  Consider churches, civic groups, community centers, career counselors, temporary agencies for job placement, etc.

3.  Avoid staying at a relative's residence and doing nothing.  Go to bed early, get up early and try to stay away as long as you can.  Find places you can unwind after work.  When you are at the relative's home do small tasks, but be sure you communicate a start and stop time and when you are unable to help them otherwise they will take advantage.

4.  Give money when you can, but set a limit and how often you give.  Never give so much money that you have none put aside to move out on, pay for transportation, food, and more.  Keep track of your giving--use checks or money orders so that you have a receipt of payment.

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media


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