Monday, March 10, 2014

Never Trust the Big Mouth in Your Family

When family members share, "I don't talk to her because...I don't come around because..."  There is good reason, most likely they have said or did something that caused a stir in the family.  Be it right or wrong, the chaos had been so much over the years that there was no more interacting closely with relatives.  Nevertheless, there will always be the big mouth in the family, the one who says, "I don't care what she said, I'm calling her...So what he doesn't come around, he knows what he did, but I still want him to come to my event!"  Whatever the issue, the big mouth will be sure to broadcast every little detail to other relatives about those who have been distant for quite sometime.  "Did you hear what she said?  Well, this is what I heard."  Before long, personal opinion about the person spreads like wildfire!

When you encounter the big mouth in the family, you will want to limit your conversation with such a person and try hard not to say anything to him or her that includes a name, place, or anything related to other family members unless absolutely necessary.  When referencing your personal interaction with other relatives, you might be vague and only mention labels such as: "an aunt, a cousin or a relative" rather than names.  Taking care to leave out any details that might be misconstrued and keeping private information to one's self.

If there is a confrontation or family dispute over what the big mouth relative said, stand your ground!  Don't feel threatened, bullied, or curse the person you are speaking with.  Rather stick to the facts and give the person or yourself a way out if the discussion because emotional.  You don't want to keep conversations going with people who easily jump to conclusions, act childish, or have so many rules about what to say or not to say about them.

Nicholl McGuire

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