How to Protect Yourself from the Evil that People Do on Halloween

Most people treat the day before Halloween and Halloween as just another day, but just because you don’t celebrate it doesn’t mean that others won’t force you to participate anyway. Halloween has always been the holiday that excuses pranks and jokes, promotes acceptance of treats from strangers, encourages people to be something other than themselves, and demonstrates that being scared or scaring other people, acting bizarre (such as disrespecting the burial plots of loved ones,) and other similar behaviors is totally acceptable. So what do you do to at least alleviate, notice I didn’t say eliminate, some of the stress you may or may not encounter before, during, and after the Halloween holiday?

Protect your car.

You may have been accustomed to parking in front of your house, not locking doors or rolling up windows, leaving valuables in the car, or forgetting to use a car cover, you will need to write yourself a reminder or tell someone in the family to do these things in case you forget. If you start getting in the habit now, you won’t forget by the time the holiday arrives.

Double check that doors and windows of your home are locked.

Even nowadays with all the crime in the world, people will still leave doors and windows unlocked. Burglars or neighborhood children looking to play a prank will take advantage of any opportunity to get what they want, so be your own security patrol officer and test knobs, locks, attempt to lift windows, and buy any additional safety locks for sliding glass doors and low level windows. If you can afford it, purchase block glass windows for your basement.

Anything that you have always kept outdoors that may be worth anything, lock it up.

People will leave expensive items such as motorcycles on porches and low-level balconies and think no one will steal them. Others may have kept collectible pottery and statues, old parts to cars, tools, even recyclables that people can obtain money for and think nothing of it. Halloween is a great time for thieves to pose as parents to observe what’s around your house.

Take candy to the children, don’t invite them in.

This will keep you safe and them. You don’t want to be mistakenly accused of bothering a child, so don’t even let them in. Children will be visiting numerous houses Halloween night and it is very easy to confuse one house from another, “It was that man with the pumpkin in the Halloween that bothered me.” So you may be the unfortunate one being pointed out. Meanwhile, another man had a similar pumpkin in his hallway too, and it turns out that he was the one, not you.

Parents aren’t always the ones taking their children Trick or Treating either, sometimes their troublemaking relatives are accompanying them. This relative might be using this as an opportunity to check out your house and will follow the child into your home. Don’t invite anyone in, leave the candy outside or sit in front of your house dressed in a costume (with your doors locked if it makes you feel comfortable.)

Don’t keep valuables in office drawers, closets.

Everyone has a few people they work with who enjoy playing jokes. You also have those who are strapped for cash too. Halloween is a great time for some jealous thieves to start accumulating money and “free” items for the upcoming holidays, then blame it on someone else. At workplaces inundated with children, it is very easy to blame them, so don’t take more than you need to work, deposit checks as soon as you can leave the office, and never store anything at work or use collectible treasures (such as a rare numbered Halloween knickknack) to decorate your workspace.

Avoid letting your children go to haunted houses unless you plan to accompany them.

This is a great place for troublemakers. Would you trust your child in a room with a stranger with the lights cut off?

Take your children to well-lit neighborhoods to Trick or Treat.

Some neighborhoods have too many trees, bushes, alleyways, and other places that any mischievous person or animal can hide. Some communities don’t have any street lights that work or not enough for them. Contact your local city hall to find out which department is responsible for street light repair in your neighborhood.

Inspect treats to see if they have been opened and then resealed.

Over the years the media has reported stories where someone opened candy, tampered with it, and then sealed it back. You will have to check closely by opening the entire contents and checking to see that the packaging is consistent in color and smell. Also, check the dates on treats and throw out the expired ones. Most likely, they are stale anyway.

Throw away any opened or homemade treats.

As inexpensive as candy is nowadays, some people will still insist on baking treats. Not everyone’s household is sanitary, nor does everyone wash their hands while they cook or keep pets out the kitchen. Save yourself a moment of possible disgust by finding something you rather not in the treat and just throw it away! As for opened items, would you buy it in the store if it were open?

Prepare your child for the ugly, gory costumes and masks BEFORE you take them out.

Why would anyone take their child out amongst some of the ugliest sites known to mankind and think their child won’t become frightened or later have nightmares? If your child knows the difference between what is scary and what is not and you have already noticed that he or she manages their fear well? Then by all means, but if you know that he or she scares easily, save yourself a crying storm of tantrums and a headache and leave him or her at home!

Don’t entrust your child in the care of older children on Halloween night.

There are some great babysitters who can handle responsibilities given to them well and then there are those who can’t. If your child is having a temper tantrum in the middle of the street with a Tween or Teen who isn’t use to him or her, they may walk on down the street with your child trailing behind them. This isn’t good, if say, a car is coming down a street; he or she is trying to cross?

Keep your pets indoors.

Just as there are those people who believe in God, there are those who believe in many gods. Sacrifices happen all the time during this time of year. If you love your pet, keep him or her indoors.

Stay up later than normal the day before and the day of Halloween.

Local police and private investigators will tell you approximately what time most mischief happens in your neighborhood. They also know whether the rate of Halloween mischief increases or decreases during this time of year in your community. Contact your local police or conduct a quick search on the Internet for more information.

If you own property, visit it or have someone check it out.

You would be surprised at how long people will stay away from their property and never check it out. Neighborhood children usually know whose house is being used as the crack house, the party house or the whore house. Protect your own property, look out for your neighbors, keep your eyes open to any suspicious activity and report it.

Observe your surroundings.

You may be walking to your car, driving from an event or doing something else, unaware that someone is following you. Always look around and make eye contact with anyone that you find is looking at you. Go to a public place and call the police if you find a single person or group of individuals are following you or making you feel uncomfortable. Never confront them. You don’t know what their mental state of mind maybe or if they have a weapon on them. Not only that, you don’t want to be at fault for pulling out a weapon of your own.

Avoid parties where drinking and drugs are involved.

So many people often fall into the trap of a few hours of fun that for some ends up being a life altering tragedy. As we see in the media, people are negatively impacted, jailed, raped, beaten, or worse murdered, because someone is out of control. If you must drink and/or do drugs, stay off the road or designate someone to take you home.

Halloween can be a great holiday in a controlled environment for many who like to celebrate. However, it can be a nightmare for people who don’t take necessary precautions despite the holiday. Protect yourself by taking heed to the warnings this holiday and throughout your life.

By Nicholl McGuire

The Truth Will Set You Free

We think that because they are our relatives and friends that they will always tell the truth, but can I tell you, they won't!  Some will tell partial truths, others will tell white lies, while others won't say anything at all.

Some of us need the truth.  For the truth will set us free!  If you are spiritual, you know that the enemy keeps you in bondage by not telling the truth.  There are those who think they are doing the right thing simply by saying, "I rather not know."  Maybe you don't, but there are others that may be living daily with a lie.  Why not let the captives free and allow these people to tell the truth?

Relatives and friends may claim they care about us and that is why they rather not say anything at all about a family secret.  But when there is always that possibility of knowing the truth, why let someone you care about find out through a weird circumstance, a carelessly left paper or from a stranger on the street?

I think of someone who I had encountered who believes that a certain man is her father, when in fact he isn't!  Over the years, she has battled with so many issues and no one can find it in their hearts to share this information with her.  What if all her searching for peace of mind was due to the questions she always had about her identity?  Would the truth finally set her free?  No one wants to be the messenger, for fear they will be responsible for sending her over the edge.  In this case, I have since removed myself from her family.  I personally believe it is up to them to sit her down and talk to her, I can only hope and pray they will do just that.

I personally wouldn't want anyone in my own family to make the decision for me "to not say anything to Nicholl about..."  Give me enough information, without all the details at first, then let me think about whether I need to know more.  There is a way to slowly let a person know the truth without dumping it all in their lap at once!

I know for some people, they put some relatives and friends on pedestals in their lives, and that may be a very nice thing to do, but realize, that sometimes the one you love the most will hurt you.  For those who know the truth, but keep going along with a lie, especially if you claim to be a Christ believer, understand that there is someone much greater than man you will have to answer to.  For those who don't feel accountable to a creator, what goes around comes back around.

Nicholl McGuire

Daughter, Why Your Father Won’t Approve of Your Dating Any Man

Your dad knows that at some point you are going to come home with a man you really like and you may feel like he is better than the last guy, but the truth is your dad isn’t really going to approve of him or any man for that matter.  You see, your dad was once a man and he knows how men think.

He may have given his daughter away in a marriage or encouraged her to say yes to a gentlemen suitor, but deep down inside he really wanted to say, “No.”  That’s why some dads cry at weddings.  He knows what goes around comes back around.  He starts thinking about all the mess he put his wife through and he knows that the man who says he loves his daughter is a younger version of him who will eventually make his daughter cry.

You may have tried everything to make your dad approve of the men you have dated over the years,  but that is a losing battle so save yourself the fight and end it.  Whether the man is black white yellow or red, the man is interested in you and your dad doesn’t like it. 

Now there are some things you can do to reassure your dad that you are happy with your decision and this article discusses some of those things.

First, don’t tell your mother every little thing wrong that your mate has ever done to you.  Your mother will go back and tell your dad your stories.  This doesn’t help your dad’s state of mind when he knows that this knucklehead you call your husband, fiancé or boyfriend has hurt his daughter.

Next, avoid telling your dad all the details of your relationship with your mate.  No mentally stable dad wants to hear about the kisses and the hot sex in the backseat of a car with his daughter and partner.  By telling him everything, you are giving him images that he rather not see (or if perverted he would want to see) and may send him over the edge.

Another thing you can do to help your dad adjust to your new life with a man is talk about the money he makes and how he is taking care of you.  Any dad who truly cares about his daughter is very interested in whether the man she is pledging her life to will take care of her.

Your dad may not tell you this but he wouldn’t mind a touching card or gift that says you love and appreciate him too.  Some dads are just jealous and wish that you paid them a little more attention too.  Give dear old dad a hug and tell him that you love him.

Some of you, who have a faith know you have a father in heaven and a father down here on earth so with that said, take the time to pray about your dad and his behavior.  Pray that he will be less combative, argumentative, angry, or jealous about your pick in a mate.

Lastly, try not to be angry around your dad.  If he sees you are upset with him he may act worse.  You want your dad to see you are happy and aren’t interested in holding anymore grudges against him about his past behavior. 

By Nicholl McGuire

Parents: Accused of Playing Favorites?

Children don’t suddenly tell their parents one day they are playing favorites. They have been watching their parents act in ways for awhile that have made them feel as if they love, care, and like their siblings more than them.

When parents are told about their behavior, they usually deny that they are playing favorites and will follow up with a statement like, “I love all my children the same.” Actions speak louder than words, so let’s look at what some parents are doing that make at least one of their children feel that they are being treated unfairly.

When giving praises and compliments…

Some parents just don’t know how to distribute positive words effectively. They are either preoccupied with other things, reenacting how they were treated as a child, or are too hurt by the past actions of their children to bother to say anything that will encourage them. The children who may need more attention than the others know that they have problems and don’t need their parents to continue to remind them of this, rather they need help and it is up to the parents to do what it takes to get them the help they need and back on the right track. Making comparisons between children or thinking that praising the other siblings will make “the problem child” perform better, doesn’t do anything for them but build resentment.

When gift-giving…

When shopping, some parents have taken the time to listen more to the needs of one child over another. Some children are better communicators than others. However, whatever the reason why a parent would give another child more or better gifts than another when both children have demonstrated good behavior, is wrong. If a parent happens to have extra money right around the time one of the children’s birthday is coming up, consider dividing up the money between the two children and saving a portion of the money until the next child’s birthday comes up.

When planning events…

There will be those times when a parent will invite family members to a celebrated event. Now if the parent is careful to use the same guest list for all the children, and some of the guests are able to make it to one child’s birthday but not all, then the child will be disappointed in whoever couldn’t make it, and not upset with the parent for at least inviting the guest. However, when a parent makes a big deal out of one child’ birthday and not the others, he or she is causing unnecessary jealousy between siblings.

When conversing to other children…

Parents can create a hostile environment for their children by not watching what they say and how they say it. If a parent is talking to one child in a nice tone and irritated often when talking to the other, in time the child will feel as if the parent likes or favors their brother or sister more.

When talking about their children to others…

Children pay attention to adult conversation. If the least favored child hears you on the phone or telling someone in-person how great their sibling is while criticizing he or she, they will become resentful. Some children will purposely do negative things as their way of paying the parent back for not saying anything good about them.

When teaching responsibility…

Some parents avoid giving any responsibility to one child and overdo it with another. Maybe one child is allowed to go to the mall with their friends, while the other isn’t. He or she may be allowed to have a cell phone, the car, or something else while the other isn’t. Although the child has heard the parents tell them, “Until you show that you are responsible you are allowed to do…” They will still overlook the reason and focus on the fact that you are allowing the other child to do or have more than them. You can help them understand why you do what you do by giving them more responsibility in other tasks until they meet your requirements. If you don’t pay close attention to when the child who accuses you of being unfair has done well, what you are doing will look and feel like favoritism.

When showing trust…

Every parent wants to trust their child, but when you feel you can’t and they have shown you that you can’t, and then you have no choice but to act differently when it comes to distributing duties. But some parents will say they don’t trust their children without explaining to them why. Provide proof as to why your child can’t be trusted, just don’t tell them that you don’t trust them. And if you want a positive relationship with them in the future, put a deadline on their punishment. Don’t keep holding things against them that they did years ago.

By Nicholl McGuire

7 Reasons Why Your Ex Won’t Come Back

You tried everything to get your ex back and he or she doesn’t seem to budge. You have tried to figure out what could be stopping him or her from being with you. Some of the following thoughts may have come to your mind, but you won’t face the truth because you are still very much in love with him or her. However, you will need to face the truth and here’s how.

One. He or she isn’t interested in you any longer.

When you know that this may be a reason as to why you can’t get your ex back, back off. Some people think that they can sell themselves to another who is obviously moving on with their life. You know that no sales pitch will work with her or him when you have repeatedly called, dropped by, and used others to try to share your thoughts and no matter what you say or do, he or she keeps telling you, “Leave me alone.” Do it, before you find yourself in legal trouble for stalking. One way that you can begin to remove this person from your thoughts is to keep yourself busy doing other things that stimulate you mentally and exhaust you by the time you go to bed at night. This way you won’t be up late at night thinking of him or her.

Two. What you did was so bad that he or she can’t forgive you and forgetting is simply out the question.

When one sees the bad thing that another has done to them, the vision may never go away. That is why it is very hard for a person to get over someone cheating on them especially if they saw him or her in the bed doing the action. If you know, that your ex has actually seen you holding hands, kissing, or being in bed with this person, save yourself a life of insecurity, anger outbursts, and jealous rages, by backing off. Some men and women will tell you that when they got back together with an ex they made their life hell because they couldn’t get the vision out of their head of the night they saw them cheating. When you are making an effort to improve yourself, although it may not win your ex back, at least they will look at you and say, “He or she is trying to be a better person.”

Three. He or she has found someone better.

Oftentimes men and women who are trying to get an ex back will automatically assume that is what is happening. Sometimes there is no one around who the ex is serious with just someone they may enjoy talking to or going to the mall or movies. However, if that is occurring then you definitely don’t want to try to win your ex back by making it a competition. When you do you are no longer focusing your attention on your ex but rather this person who doesn’t know you. Thinking that your presence will make him or her go away is also foolish, because it will make you look like you are crazy and when people feel threatened they will call the police. An ex will not find it attractive knowing that you are in jail over something foolish. If anything, he or she will take precautions as well like file for a Protection from Abuse with the local law enforcement. The best thing you can do is become distant almost act like a stranger. This will help you move on and make your ex feel less threatened.

Four. He or she is more interested in achieving professional goals without distraction.

This is an excellent reason as to why some people will not go back to a relationship. Nowadays people are money driven. They want the best that money can buy and once they are convinced that they can achieve the best no one or nothing will stand in their way. He or she may now see you as a hindrance. The best way to get over him or her is to learn by example and better you.

Five. He or she has reasoned that you can’t be trusted.

When lies are told and other things have occurred that just don’t add up, an ex will resolve that there is no getting the truth out of you and so will move on. You will have to move on too and remember to be more honest with those you meet in the future.

Six. He or she has been advised by a well-meaning family member or friend that you aren’t a healthy addition to his or her life.

Your ex may have someone around them that they admire and this person may have given them some advice on their situation. If you were trying to win him or her back it can be challenging because you are not only trying to get the ex back but you have to convince those who influence him or her as well. Sometimes it is best to move on when you know that a person is still very much dependant on his or her family.

Seven. He or she knows that you have been seeing someone else and may have children with this person.

When an ex knows that the relationship ended mainly because someone was either in the picture while the two of you dated or came soon after the separation, he or she will struggle with the idea of this person’s existence and often wonder if you are still in contact with him or her. When children are involved the ex will reason that they can’t stomach the idea that you have a permanent connection to someone else other than them. Some exs cannot and will not accept this kind of lifestyle.

Your ex is not interested in coming back for any one of these reasons or some other, and when you try to force something that is not working you are causing more problems for yourself and making it harder for you to move on in your life. There is a difference when an ex cares and when he or she loves. Just because he or she is polite and may have helped you a few times with a problem since you have been separated, doesn’t mean that he or she wants to be in a relationship with you.

Secrets Destroying Your Relationship? What to Do About Them.

Someone knows something about you that you don’t want your partner to know. You know you should have told him or her by now; but you don’t want to because you fear what he or she may think of you if they knew the truth, so you continue to lie or don’t say anything at all.

It may have been a scar on your body that you lied about, an experience that you told them but left out the details, or something that you did in the past that you regret. Whatever the secret, if it is killing your peace, stealing your joy, or destroying your relationship, then it is something that has to be said and you will just have to deal with the consequences as they come up.

People lie out of fear and they make up excuses when they don’t want to bother with the truth. “I told you this lie, because I was scared you would break up with me.” The reality is that a person will more likely break up with you because you didn’t just come out with the truth and kept the lie going. It is never too late to tell the truth, but if and when you do, prepare yourself for the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Too many people have a false hope when it comes to a secret-- the hope that no one will ever find out about it. But as we see someone always finds out as long as there is someone living to talk about it or evidence circulating about it. That is why in the movies the snitch is murdered and the object of discussion is destroyed. But such drastic measures need not happen when the truth is told right from the very beginning. There is a way to tell the truth and relieve your conscience without saying anything and the following information will help you do just that.

Some people will purposely leave information behind so that someone else tells what happens. Others will tell a big mouth in the hopes that they will tell whoever needs to be told or they may write an anonymous letter. Strangers can be some secretive people’s best friend by being there to listen. They are able to find the peace they need when they confide in someone who isn’t involved and doesn’t know them.

Another way to tell your truth is by leaving circumstances and events open to question. For example, you can tell just enough about an incident and leave it open to interpretation usually leaning toward the truth. The person listening can read between the lines if they are smart enough. If it is too embarrassing even for them, they may have learned of the secret, but never say a word. I think of media outlets like the National Enquirer, they wouldn’t exist if there wasn’t some celebrity’s assistant, family member or friend feeding them with secrets. Who knows maybe this is why many celebrities don’t bother to sue, because they know it all isn’t a lie?

You may be giving yourself a hard time about someone finding out about your secret or maybe someone else is giving you stress about someone finding out, but if it is killing what matters the most to you then rid yourself of it and try using some of the ways that were explained to you. Because if you don’t, you will find yourself creating more lies to cover up lies.

Once you have made up in your mind how you will expose your secret, have thought about all of the consequences as a result, go ahead and show or tell your truth. Just like a teacher assigns a child a “show and tell” assignment in school, you will have to be prepared to show or tell your secret. Avoid the temptation to lie again and if you find yourself doing it, tell the person, “I’m sorry, let me try this again…this is what I really meant…no what I just said is incorrect…” If you fear the person may act violent, don’t be around when they find out your secret. If you rely on the person for food, money, and shelter then wait until you have these things before you tell them anything. You don’t want to be put out on the street. If you have children with this person, be sure you know what to do if they should threaten to take your children away from you because of the secret. If you know you have done or said something that may help in a criminal investigation then be sure to have a support system around you such as a lawyer, clergy, and family. There are those secrets that may be related to employment. If so, don’t say anything unless you have another job. You don’t want to do the right thing and then fin that you are without a job. Exposing a secret has to be well thought out, timed appropriately and all options must be exhausted. People get into heaps of trouble when they don’t consider who may get hurt and what may happen as a result of exposing a secret that affects them or someone else.

When you expose a secret that is bringing you or someone you love much pain and grief, you will feel a peace in spite of the consequences. You will wonder what took you so long. In time, you will find that you are acting different. There will be those bouts that you will wish you had never said anything, but then you will remember the peace of having finally told. Even if you don’t feel comfortable in your decision initially, think of the person who may be helped as a result. Of course, if you have told lies to cover up your secret, you will have to earn their trust again.

Think of the many people who have told their stories of sexual and physical abuse, things they saw, what they heard and how their stories helped so many including themselves. If we all kept everything to ourselves and said nothing, then we would all die with broken hearts having helped no one. I thank God for those people who came before me and shared their terrible secrets, if it wasn’t for their courage, I would have never been able to face my own challenges.

Sometimes when people carry secrets they may not realize that what is so important to them may not matter to the person who loves them. If someone truly loves you, then they will walk through the fire with you. If you look at the benefit of having a secret and eventually tell it, you will find that it is a test on whether or not a relationship was meant to be. If this person who claims that they love you can’t handle a little secret, then what makes you think they will be able to handle even bigger challenges in the future? You may have to re-evaluate whether you want to spend the rest of your life with them or not.

Finally, there are those secrets that don’t help anyone and those are better left being buried with you when you die.