The Scapegoat is The Truth-Teller, Blamed for Everything, Shamed

Author of Know your Enemy: The Christian's Critic, Nicholl McGuire, shares her latest work, Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, at Smashwords.com. In the book, readers are presented with observation, experiences, and advice from scapegoats' perspectives when it comes to dealing with the self-absorbed, often described as narcissistic, mother.

For years, sons and daughters who have viewed their families as dysfunctional and dared to speak out about the issues, are often quieted. They are told what to say, how to think, feel, and more. Siblings and others are recruited to turn against them. When they rebel against their programmers, they are made to look like they are crazy. They are blamed for one offense or another. They are used and abused. Whenever they present truthful family stories, offended relatives will twist words, lie about events, and bad mouth the scapegoats/truth-tellers in the family.

If you are the one being made to wear a scarlet letter in the family, don't worry there are many just like you. Learn more about narcissistic mothers in video below and also check out Nicholl's book,
Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, it's not just a book about a mother but many in similar roles who scheme to achieve devious plans.

The Threat of Losing Inheritance Money, Property, and More When You Anger the Wrong One in the Family

Some of our needy relatives and family friends can be bought with blood money, promises of money, and property.  You might be one of them who is acting well-behaved with the most difficult people in your family because of what has been promised to you.  So you put up with their negative comments, unreasonable demands, lies, and gossip while involving your spouse and children.  Your hope is that there will be a pay off someday for all your hardship.  But some of you learned the hard way after the deceased passed, you didn't get what you thought you deserved.

Many hopeful relatives were surprised when they discovered that much of what was promised by their kin was all smoke and mirrors.  They really thought by helping the so-called broke and busted in the family they would get blessed sooner or later.  They thought that if they assisted the rich in the family in getting richer by saving them money, they would get something that could pay bills off in return.  Whatever you might have did or are now doing for someone in the family who keeps promising they will leave something for you, help you, etc. take a moment, pause.  Is what you are doing for them really worth it?  Are your dreams of a better future because of their promises really accurate?  Can this person even be trusted?   Is there a better way to relate to this person or a better way out?  Difficult people with money are fickle and people without it are just as bad.

If you find yourself caught in a trap where someone has promised to give you something only if you do A, B, C and whatever else they come up with, know that they are setting you up to be used and abused for as long as your name sits on a policy, a will, a trust, etc.  Relatives like this don't love you, they love what you can do for them while feeling good having a bit of monetary power to flex in the family too.  When you stop doing, out comes the gifts to lure you back in or changes to the policies, legal documents, beneficiaries, and more when you don't perform like they wish.

If you are a believer, don't put yourself and others in bondage because someone is angry with you and has threatened to take what has been ordained by your heavenly Father for you.  I think of how God hated Esau because he sold what was due him for a bowl of soup.  If what is being given is filled with trouble, know that God didn't mean for you to have it anyway.  Don't learn the hard way like after the person dies; instead, free yourself now from the threats and promises and enjoy your life!

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

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On Recognizing False Fronts: Smokescreens, Hypocrites, Liars

Family Lies

You don't know my family or I

but we both have been hurt

by lie after lie.

This one told a story

praised God for his glory.

This one said she was well,

but her body was in hell.

This one said he loved his wife,

but he was causing much strife.

This one said he graduated school,

but the truth is, he's a fool.

This one said she liked to help others,

but she had fights with her brothers.

This one claimed to trust in Jesus,

but the way she treated the poor and us...

I told them I wanted to make a book,

one's head just shook and shook.

"You don't really want to do that..."

Family secrets made so many fat.

They ate to hide their blues

food like a pacifier soothes.

Didn't want family lies

under bright lights

afraid they would start endless fights.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

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Liars, Thieves and Murderers in the Family - They Don't Change, They Go Into Hiding

Whether you have a liar, thief or murderer in the family, one thing is for certain, just because they might claim to have changed, doesn't mean the family is going to act any different toward them.

The relatives have plenty of good reason to act distant toward those with a criminal mindset.  They should protect their assets, and caution others especially if they have been a victim of a shady relative's schemes in the past.  As much as some would like for things to be left in the past, it can be quite difficult to forget about offenses when they are still ongoing.  I think of deceitful family members who repeatedly let loved ones down.  Then after some time passed (out of sight, out of mind), they acted as if all was okay and they had changed.  But the reality was, these liars, thieves, and murderers only got better with their acting skills.

The family charlatans who boast how much they love family usually have two faces.  The one that everyone sees (good guy) and the one a few can see (bad guy).  Enabling family members will try to protect the one who thinks himself to be honest and true (a changed man or woman) by singing his or her praises for all to hear.  They will talk of how much the so-called righteous relative did in the past for the family.  They will boast about all the service they have received from the individual.  These enablers might go so far as to give the deceivers many gifts while hoping that others will hop on the bandwagon.

It is unfortunate but rarely do people with a long history of lying, stealing, and fighting change.  They might grow older and get slower, but their mentalities are still very selfish and downright evil.  Some will go into hiding for a time while hoping that those around them are convinced they have changed before coming around family once again.  Others will be quite open about their misdeeds but all the while plot their next move.  They hope that discerning relatives will see that things appear to be different with them even when it is apparent that there is no change.

Set some traps for sneaky relatives, interview others about their behaviors, and watch how these liars, thieves and murderers in your family operate for a time.  Sooner or later what is in darkness will come to light.

Nicholl McGuire

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They Look Like Such a Happy Family

You might have walked by them, sat by the so-called happy family in a restaurant, and thought, "Wow, they are such a happy family.  Everyone looks so beautiful..."

Some of the most attractive and content looking families are having their share of issues.  The kind that don't easily go away.  What we see is merely an act like that of a Hollywood movie scene.  Those who are discerning, look beyond the surface.  They see pain underneath the masks and experience a negative vibe emanating from them.

Oftentimes, the stressed head of family is keeping up the best act.  He is smiling at strangers and purposely making eye contact with them to appear friendly.  He exchanges warm pleasantries while his body language advertises, "I am a pretender."  He is acting polite and attentive in public toward his family, but every now and then his true self emerges when he is irritated about something his wife and children may have said or done.  He is behaving himself at least while watchful eyes are in view.

The family head's wife puts on a fake smile when spoke to directly.  She pretends to be interested in the family conversation and the environment around her, but her eyes say, "I wish I was anywhere but here."  She isn't smiling at the women who gaze in her family's direction, she doesn't trust them or the partner she is with around them. The wife barely smiles at the men who nod as they pass by because she knows how jealous her husband can be.

The couple's children chat among each other and occasionally misbehave.  After being warned, they sit silently with a half-hearted smile here and there as disappointed parents look on.  They mustn't mess up the perfect family public facade.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7 

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