On Recognizing False Fronts: Smokescreens, Hypocrites, Liars

Family Lies

You don't know my family or I

but we both have been hurt

by lie after lie.

This one told a story

praised God for his glory.

This one said she was well,

but her body was in hell.

This one said he loved his wife,

but he was causing much strife.

This one said he graduated school,

but the truth is, he's a fool.

This one said she liked to help others,

but she had fights with her brothers.

This one claimed to trust in Jesus,

but the way she treated the poor and us...

I told them I wanted to make a book,

one's head just shook and shook.

"You don't really want to do that..."

Family secrets made so many fat.

They ate to hide their blues

food like a pacifier soothes.

Didn't want family lies

under bright lights

afraid they would start endless fights.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

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Liars, Thieves and Murderers in the Family - They Don't Change, They Go Into Hiding

Whether you have a liar, thief or murderer in the family, one thing is for certain, just because they might claim to have changed, doesn't mean the family is going to act any different toward them.

The relatives have plenty of good reason to act distant toward those with a criminal mindset.  They should protect their assets, and caution others especially if they have been a victim of a shady relative's schemes in the past.  As much as some would like for things to be left in the past, it can be quite difficult to forget about offenses when they are still ongoing.  I think of deceitful family members who repeatedly let loved ones down.  Then after some time passed (out of sight, out of mind), they acted as if all was okay and they had changed.  But the reality was, these liars, thieves, and murderers only got better with their acting skills.

The family charlatans who boast how much they love family usually have two faces.  The one that everyone sees (good guy) and the one a few can see (bad guy).  Enabling family members will try to protect the one who thinks himself to be honest and true (a changed man or woman) by singing his or her praises for all to hear.  They will talk of how much the so-called righteous relative did in the past for the family.  They will boast about all the service they have received from the individual.  These enablers might go so far as to give the deceivers many gifts while hoping that others will hop on the bandwagon.

It is unfortunate but rarely do people with a long history of lying, stealing, and fighting change.  They might grow older and get slower, but their mentalities are still very selfish and downright evil.  Some will go into hiding for a time while hoping that those around them are convinced they have changed before coming around family once again.  Others will be quite open about their misdeeds but all the while plot their next move.  They hope that discerning relatives will see that things appear to be different with them even when it is apparent that there is no change.

Set some traps for sneaky relatives, interview others about their behaviors, and watch how these liars, thieves and murderers in your family operate for a time.  Sooner or later what is in darkness will come to light.

Nicholl McGuire

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They Look Like Such a Happy Family

You might have walked by them, sat by the so-called happy family in a restaurant, and thought, "Wow, they are such a happy family.  Everyone looks so beautiful..."

Some of the most attractive and content looking families are having their share of issues.  The kind that don't easily go away.  What we see is merely an act like that of a Hollywood movie scene.  Those who are discerning, look beyond the surface.  They see pain underneath the masks and experience a negative vibe emanating from them.

Oftentimes, the stressed head of family is keeping up the best act.  He is smiling at strangers and purposely making eye contact with them to appear friendly.  He exchanges warm pleasantries while his body language advertises, "I am a pretender."  He is acting polite and attentive in public toward his family, but every now and then his true self emerges when he is irritated about something his wife and children may have said or done.  He is behaving himself at least while watchful eyes are in view.

The family head's wife puts on a fake smile when spoke to directly.  She pretends to be interested in the family conversation and the environment around her, but her eyes say, "I wish I was anywhere but here."  She isn't smiling at the women who gaze in her family's direction, she doesn't trust them or the partner she is with around them. The wife barely smiles at the men who nod as they pass by because she knows how jealous her husband can be.

The couple's children chat among each other and occasionally misbehave.  After being warned, they sit silently with a half-hearted smile here and there as disappointed parents look on.  They mustn't mess up the perfect family public facade.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7 

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On Bringing Family Members to Your Home When Relationship is in Trouble

Why do some couples do it, allow relatives to visit their homes when they know they don't see eye-to-eye on most things including people who don't like one or both of them? 

Sometimes a personal situation will occur where one person either has to care for a relative temporarily or chooses to bring a relative to one's home for a short or long term stay.  Meanwhile a partner might not be in agreement for a number of reasons such as: negative past experiences, inconvenience, personal health issues, relationship challenges, trouble-making statements/behavior, and more. 

Whatever the issue that stirs one to want to bring family for a visit, the point is, if things aren't right at home why cause more unnecessary turmoil for the relationship or cause discomfort for your visiting relatives by bringing them into an already stressed setting?

One.  Don't invite trouble-makers with a history that isn't in support of your relationship.

You are asking for problems when you let someone come into your home that has made it clear he or she doesn't like you or your mate's past or present actions.  Notice this person's behavior.  Has he or she sincerely acted any different over the years?  Parents who act in this way assume that all is forgotten if they stand to gain something from the visit like: being tended to, playing with grandchildren, receiving monies, etc.  However, bad experiences usually aren't forgotten by those who had to endure back-handed comments, mean-spirited facial expressions, bad-mouthing, and the like.  Keep in mind, there just might be that moment during the visit where the past will come back up again and are you prepared to take sides?

Two.  State your concerns to your mate.

You might be in a relationship with someone who is understanding, but then again maybe not.  Whoever you are with, communicate the pros and cons of the potential visit.  Far too often, family members will deceive one another into thinking that all is well when in fact there is some hidden resentment, jealousy, and unresolved past issues they are coping with.  Permitting someone to come to your home because you think all is well is simply not enough and remember you might have a bias view if this person is your relative or friend planning to visit.  Listen to your mate.  Say and do the kinds of things that will bring your partner peace of mind or simply cancel plans if you detect that there is going to be trouble.

Three.  Avoid the temptation to lie or sugar-coat your feelings about certain relatives.

Pretending, lying, or exaggerating is not going to help matters.  A partner who thinks that bringing a relative into the home is beneficial while you disagree, needs to know the truth.  Sooner or later, your true colors will show up and it is then that you or your significant will be considered the bad guy or gal.

Four.  Make plans to go out of town, work longer hours, visit friends, and do other things in an effort to keep intense moments to a minimum.

Let's just say, things aren't a bad as they appear to be, if so, then figure out what you are going to do with your time so that you aren't caught having to watch, care for, or entertain a loved one.  However, the likelihood of you helping at some point or another will occur as long as the person is living in the home.

As much as we would like to think that the past is just what it is and all old offenses are long forgotten, the truth is that bad times have a way of lingering especially with those not-so favorite relatives.  Be honest with your partner and do what you must to keep trouble out of your home.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7