Your Family is Not Your Friends - Watch the Story-Telling at Family Gatherings

As much as we would love to treat our family members as our friends, we quickly realize when a family member simply isn't a friend when he or she talks in ways that tell us so.  For instance, if you were to tell your friend your deepest, darkest secrets, there is no feeling of obligation with your friend to tell anyone.  But if you were to tell a relative the same thing, he or she might feel the need to alert your parent or someone who he or she might be able to assist you even when that isn't necessary.


Your family is not your friends and do keep this in mind when you gather at the next family event.  It is at these gatherings when people feel so open, comfortable and happy being around folks they haven't seen in awhile that they feel like they need to share some family stories.  Sometimes it is best just to avoid the fodder about relatives and stick to talking about things like: the food, Black Friday sales, the weather, work related tasks, activities, etc. 


You just might be a person who truly loves your family and will not keep anything from them, but when it comes to other people's personal business, it is better to keep those things to yourself.  Family members have roles in our lives that look more like mentors, teachers, parents, counselors, and other titles of authority and less like best friends, acquaintances, and co-workers. 


Nicholl McGuire

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Singers have a way of bringing family together.  Don't miss out on a great opportunity this upcoming holiday season to gather your relatives and listen to some quality music from yesteryear!  Good music helps calm even the most tensed families down!  Besides life is too short! 

Family of Divorce

Far too often, there are families that are hit with destruction as a result of divorces, they are overwhelmed with the pain, responsibilities and depression that come with break ups. 

They are angered that partners have moved on with their lives and away from drama.  Some hopeful individuals expect that everything will be the same and all parties will treat everyone with respect.  Others falsely assume that children will continue to be loving, sweet and kind and do well in school.  But when times change, people also will change and not everyone will deal with divorce in the ways that one might expect.

You may have noticed those around you looking like they have everything together since a divorce.  There are scheduled pick ups to see children, new purchases, new relationships, and good things happening.  However, what you don't see is the symptoms that come with a break up.  Those that need to be medicated, healed, delivered, removed, and so on. Past unresolved anger, emotional issues, mental challenges, un-forgiveness, impatience, rude behaviors, and more occur before, during and after a divorce.  Sometimes it takes many years for people to mentally come back to their senses.  Not all smiling faces that have come out of a divorce are genuinely happy.  They realize that getting all things new doesn't bring anything, but new difficulties.

Before one encourages someone to get a divorce, he or she might want to open his or her heart, environment, bank account, and schedule to help that person who is going to need financial, mental, and physical support.  The more drama the relative has had to contend with in the marriage, as well as outside of it, the more assistance he or she will need.  This is why it isn't always a good idea to suggest a break up or divorce if you are not prepared to assist the individual in the turbulent relationship. 

It is also unwise to prematurely leave a person or situation that might be temporary.  A job loss is temporary, a financial dip temporary, a crying newborn temporary, a relocation/move temporary, a new hobby temporary, a health issue temporary, or a career move temporary!  None of these things last for always even if one might depart this life in the process, they aren't here forever.  So if the couple can endure, they will find that after the storms in their lives pass, they will draw near to each other.  However, abusive behavior, addictions, mental illness, cheating, and similar problems require much outside help and are not good situations to raise children.  Therefore, the family has no choice but to get away, particularly when the one with the illness is showing no signs of getting help.

If you are someone who is experiencing a divorce, keep in mind that you are not alone and that there are online programs, websites, and offline free resources that can help.

Nicholl McGuire   

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