Deceased Loved Ones: Trouble from the Grave

When some loved ones were alive they were trouble, and now long gone in mind, body and spirit and they are still trouble!  These angry, bitter, or crazy relatives and friends didn't make peace while alive and so the unfinished business they left behind is stirring up all sorts of dissension.

When was the last time you spoke to a relative who caused the family much chaos?  This person could one day die and the drama could worsen.  If it is in your power or someone else's in the family to expose pending issues and get them settled, the sooner, the better.

Far too many people who once got along well with one another, ended up having much difficulty long after a loved one died, because some things were said by the deceased relative during their waking hours.  The selfish, controlling, prideful and busybody type is most concerned about material wealth; therefore he or she might say some things to get others to be bound to their things. 

"After we die, don't ever sell this...We invested much time and money on these things.  We might come back from the grave and haunt you...Don't ever part with grandma's ring, you know how much it means to her.  Hold on to this family heirloom, it will be worth something some day," selfish loved ones might say.

Sometimes things do hold value in time and the beneficiary just might experience a big pay off, but when "that thing" is causing so much trouble in the family to the point that everyone and everything is in upheaval because of it, one must ask his or herself, "Is it worth it?"

If you have someone in your family that says or does things related to "when I die..." that make you feel uncomfortable, question this person, interview others about his or her state of mind, and most of all be sure that this person has a living will in the event that he or she is no longer able to speak.  When you do these things, you are less likely to experience trouble from the grave.

Nicholl McGuire

Men Who Hate Women and Those Who Belittle Them

Sexism hasn't gone anywhere!  Like with so many other issues that once dominated newspaper headlines or was major gossip between family and friends, the issue of men disrespecting or even hating women has been hidden or forgotten about until someone is significantly wounded or worse murdered!

After years of observing men talking in circles about the women in their families, at work and elsewhere, I have noticed a disdain some have for them.  If they aren't joking about how long women talk, they are making comments about the way a woman's body is shaped.  Much of the hate comes from those who unfortunately had poor relationships with their mothers and hardly no, if ever, a relationship with their fathers.

These bitter men, often confused about things concerning women, are easily frustrated with them especially if they are aware of their menstrual cycles.  Its as if they act moody because they know the women will be experiencing a very private issue soon.  Instead of acting supportive, some men will become visibly irritated, short-tempered, and want to be left alone.  It has been my experience that men who behave like this, oftentimes cheat and will lie about whereabouts just so that they can be away from their partners.

I don't know about you, but what I can tell you is that no matter the age, the way the woman looks, how smart she is, or how much wealth she has, an angry man who doesn't care too much for women, (except for what they can do for him), is incapable of loving them unless he has healed from past rejection from mom and the other women he has encountered in his life.  Whether these women treated him well or not, it is his perception of women that needs to change if he wants to get pass the anger.

It is not polite or funny to listen to a man put down women in general.  It is disturbing to see a man punch, kick, shove, or spit on a woman.  It is downright evil to know of or even witness a man acting evilly toward women while observers say or do nothing!  Yet, so many family members will encourage the men in their families, who just can't seem to get along with women, to act abusively if they deserve it.  Centuries ago this attitude of male dominance was prevalent and so it still is to date.

When it comes to these angry men in relationships they oftentimes have enablers--people who support their hate for women even if they are women themselves.  The sister of the abusive brother will "stay out of it...mind my own business" despite knowing how abusive he is to someone's daughter.  She might even place blame on the wife/girlfriend without knowing the facts.  Then there is the mother who believes that her son can do no wrong and the father who advises his son to "play" women and "get her to do for you!"  Aunts and female cousins might sign off on their abusive relative's behavior because they "know how women can be."

From print advertising to music videos, mothers, fathers, and other relatives don't mind letting a young girl or woman act in inappropriate ways that contribute to the negative attitudes of men who belittle and/or hate women.  The critics will judge them and say, "I told you these women aren't loyal...You can't trust them."  I say, what is wrong with a society that welcomes such hate for women?  Has it really come down to this, men and women who are in love in the public eye, but behind closed doors can't stand one another?  As our nation becomes increasingly homosexual and bisexual with more mothers at work than at home parenting children, one must think, "What might be the role of women in the future?"

Nicholl McGuire is not only a blogger and author but a YouTuber, check her thought-provoking spiritual commentary and biblical study here: YouTube  
 

Nice a Word that is Overused to Describe People We Barely Know

The Overuse of the Word "Family"

"I moved back because of family...I think it would be good to get together because of family...I think it would be nice if the family could...We should meet her family...You should help them because that is your family...I think the family should pitch in to help..."  Family, family, family!  We all get it!

There is that one in the family who loves putting an emphasis on what he or she believes family should or shouldn't do.  This person will rally up support from family members (typically the gullible ones) for his or her personal beliefs while hoping that he or she will get some sort of benefit out of the deal.  Whether the one preaching "family" is the mother, father, sister, brother or whoever else, most relatives don't bother to think, "Well, what's in it for her/him?  Why the push for family togetherness after all these years?  Why is he/she so adamant that his or her son or daughter come back to the hometown to stay?  What is the real meaning as to why he or she is talking much about family these days?"

In my years of doing what family say, rather than what I say, I have learned that the motives for some relatives on preaching family togetherness, even when there is no family closeness, is because that person (who screams the loudest) most likely has been influenced by another family he or she has married into or befriended outside of the bloodline.  This person is like the former smoker, who has kicked the habit, therefore he or she wants everyone else to quit.  "Why is everyone angry at one another, come on we are family!?  Why don't we go in and out of each other's homes--aren't we family?" she yells.  The family preacher, if you will, can be annoying with all his or her statements about "family" and "...getting along" while telling his or her own family, "What goes on in this house, stays in this house!" 

Oftentimes the family preacher is personally miserable while being judgmental toward others.  He or she knows that some people in the family will never change especially toward him or her who doesn't know when to be quiet or when to speak up.  Almost always this same person forgets his or her negative contributions to breaking the family down with things like: a quick tongue, moodiness, pride, lying, silent treatment, greed, selfishness, being unsupportive in times of need, and more!

Cheaters, manipulators, liars, pimps, hustlers, financially poor, and the moody seem to be the biggest preachers of family togetherness because they know that someone in the group will be weak enough to follow them.  "Yeah, sure...let's get together...we haven't seen the family in awhile...I'm in!"  The miserable circle of relatives, who sometimes mask their negativity well, get together on organizing the family campaign that usually causes more harm than good over time.  After all the party goers have left the show and the decor has been taken down and money spent, the disheartening family stories arise of the miserable group asking for money, wanting this, and needing that!

I caution readers of this blog to be wise in your decision-making when it comes to hiring, firing, marrying, divorcing, moving near, or moving away from intermediate family members as well as extended ones.  Whatever you choose, be mindful that someone will say or do something to keep you near or far, not for your benefit, but for theirs.

Nicholl McGuire

How TV and Sports Are Used to Control You and What You do

Crazy Love: Why domestic violence victims don't leave



Leslie Morgan Steiner, speaker



Learn more about abusive relationships here: http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com

Must-See Video: "Intense Family Drama: Mom Likes Brother Best"

Borrowing Money from Family Will Bring Trouble If Don't Pay Back

They say they will, pay the money back they owe.  While others warned, "Don't give XYZ any money..." a relative will anyway.  However, when one chooses to let relatives borrow hard-earned money, don't assume that one's word to pay back is true.

Relatives, who plan to bring drama when money isn't paid back, typically go from sweet and kind-hearted to miserable.  They will go after wife, kids, and even friends in the hope that a once beloved relative will honor his or her words.  It might take a long time before money is paid back, but when it is finally paid, there is typically a trail of trouble that one has had to endure due to a relative not honoring his or her promise during a set time.  Some things that might occur:

1.  Public disputes that might lead to the police being called.
2.  Items stolen in an effort to get owed money back.
3.  Lying or covering up by borrower, spouse and/or children.
4.  Divorce.
5.  Court issues.
6.  Ignored phone calls and family gatherings.
7.  Strange incidents that are done out of spite (i.e. damaged items, bad-mouthing...)

Those that beg, borrow, and steal money unfortunately do these things without a conscience.  They usually don't tell others what they have done.  These people know they have financial challenges, but believe that one day things will get better, but in many cases they never do, the mindset refuses to change.  As long as relatives come to the rescue, the one with the financial issue will always feel like he or she can ask.

If you know you are the type that flips out when it comes to borrowing money, don't offer it to someone who is broke (one who has no forseeable way to get finances in the immediate future).   

Nicholl McGuire

Family Foundation Legacies

Genesis 18:17-19 states: "The LORD said, "Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, since Abraham will surely become a great and mighty nation, and in him all the nations of the earth will be blessed? For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of The Lord by doing righteousness and justice; so that the LORD may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him."

God validated the importance of leaving a legacy through family to Abraham when He said that His promises to him related to nation-building were directly tied to Abraham's influence on his own children. God instructed Abraham to train his children, along with his entire household, to live their lives under God (Joshua 24:15). God's plan in history is tied to family legacy (Exodus 3:6). It's a motif spread throughout the Bible in distinct terms that describe structure that makes a family. Discipleship cultivates order and structure in the home to keep God. It replicates the process elsewhere.

Evangelizing the family is introducing them to God (Genesis 17:26-27). Circumcision is the sign of the covenant. It brings the family to faith. It establishes commitment to serve God and training/development (Ephesians 6:4). It starts with having a sense of destiny. Purpose births and raises it in the Seed that is transcendental. Passing down is critical in terms of faith because someone after you has to continue the legacy.

If not the fulfillment and understanding is disqualified null and void. Preempt ways the enemy works kills generations after the one that doesn't pass the godly way along ultimately fails. The world can't be looked at for what it is but for what we want it to become. Family can't be built off of just going through the motions, it needs to be done having a goal in mind. Nurturing a cultivated family in God begins in a unified effort. The family in God requires centeredness and reverence. God will take care of your fortune, future, and happiness.

The home should be an atmosphere of life. The man is tone setter and without that role, he is simply a baby maker that doesn't care or love his children and there is no holy culture at home. The woman is a clinging life supply of security, stability, and love. She is the fruitful vine. A prudent, virtuous woman grows from a healthy spiritual atmosphere. A vine turns into a vineyard that is seasonal. The children are olive plants which turn to trees with proper teaching and nurturing. These moments are seized for God.

 

Anthony Tyus, guest blogger

 

Troubles in Your Life, Forgot about God? Come back to Him!

Sociopaths - A Disregard for Social Norms, They Think Only of Self

Men, Women Looking for Comfort in All the Wrong Places?