"I moved back because of family...I think it would be good to get together because of family...I think it would be nice if the family could...We should meet her family...You should help them because that is your family...I think the family should pitch in to help..." Family, family, family! We all get it!
There is that one in the family who loves putting an emphasis on what he or she believes family should or shouldn't do. This person will rally up support from family members (typically the gullible ones) for his or her personal beliefs while hoping that he or she will get some sort of benefit out of the deal. Whether the one preaching "family" is the mother, father, sister, brother or whoever else, most relatives don't bother to think, "Well, what's in it for her/him? Why the push for family togetherness after all these years? Why is he/she so adamant that his or her son or daughter come back to the hometown to stay? What is the real meaning as to why he or she is talking much about family these days?"
In my years of doing what family say, rather than what I say, I have learned that the motives for some relatives on preaching family togetherness, even when there is no family closeness, is because that person (who screams the loudest) most likely has been influenced by another family he or she has married into or befriended outside of the bloodline. This person is like the former smoker, who has kicked the habit, therefore he or she wants everyone else to quit. "Why is everyone angry at one another, come on we are family!? Why don't we go in and out of each other's homes--aren't we family?" she yells. The family preacher, if you will, can be annoying with all his or her statements about "family" and "...getting along" while telling his or her own family, "What goes on in this house, stays in this house!"
Oftentimes the family preacher is personally miserable while being judgmental toward others. He or she knows that some people in the family will never change especially toward him or her who doesn't know when to be quiet or when to speak up. Almost always this same person forgets his or her negative contributions to breaking the family down with things like: a quick tongue, moodiness, pride, lying, silent treatment, greed, selfishness, being unsupportive in times of need, and more!
Cheaters, manipulators, liars, pimps, hustlers, financially poor, and the moody seem to be the biggest preachers of family togetherness because they know that someone in the group will be weak enough to follow them. "Yeah, sure...let's get together...we haven't seen the family in awhile...I'm in!" The miserable circle of relatives, who sometimes mask their negativity well, get together on organizing the family campaign that usually causes more harm than good over time. After all the party goers have left the show and the decor has been taken down and money spent, the disheartening family stories arise of the miserable group asking for money, wanting this, and needing that!
I caution readers of this blog to be wise in your decision-making when it comes to hiring, firing, marrying, divorcing, moving near, or moving away from intermediate family members as well as extended ones. Whatever you choose, be mindful that someone will say or do something to keep you near or far, not for your benefit, but for theirs.
Nicholl McGuire
There is that one in the family who loves putting an emphasis on what he or she believes family should or shouldn't do. This person will rally up support from family members (typically the gullible ones) for his or her personal beliefs while hoping that he or she will get some sort of benefit out of the deal. Whether the one preaching "family" is the mother, father, sister, brother or whoever else, most relatives don't bother to think, "Well, what's in it for her/him? Why the push for family togetherness after all these years? Why is he/she so adamant that his or her son or daughter come back to the hometown to stay? What is the real meaning as to why he or she is talking much about family these days?"
In my years of doing what family say, rather than what I say, I have learned that the motives for some relatives on preaching family togetherness, even when there is no family closeness, is because that person (who screams the loudest) most likely has been influenced by another family he or she has married into or befriended outside of the bloodline. This person is like the former smoker, who has kicked the habit, therefore he or she wants everyone else to quit. "Why is everyone angry at one another, come on we are family!? Why don't we go in and out of each other's homes--aren't we family?" she yells. The family preacher, if you will, can be annoying with all his or her statements about "family" and "...getting along" while telling his or her own family, "What goes on in this house, stays in this house!"
Oftentimes the family preacher is personally miserable while being judgmental toward others. He or she knows that some people in the family will never change especially toward him or her who doesn't know when to be quiet or when to speak up. Almost always this same person forgets his or her negative contributions to breaking the family down with things like: a quick tongue, moodiness, pride, lying, silent treatment, greed, selfishness, being unsupportive in times of need, and more!
Cheaters, manipulators, liars, pimps, hustlers, financially poor, and the moody seem to be the biggest preachers of family togetherness because they know that someone in the group will be weak enough to follow them. "Yeah, sure...let's get together...we haven't seen the family in awhile...I'm in!" The miserable circle of relatives, who sometimes mask their negativity well, get together on organizing the family campaign that usually causes more harm than good over time. After all the party goers have left the show and the decor has been taken down and money spent, the disheartening family stories arise of the miserable group asking for money, wanting this, and needing that!
I caution readers of this blog to be wise in your decision-making when it comes to hiring, firing, marrying, divorcing, moving near, or moving away from intermediate family members as well as extended ones. Whatever you choose, be mindful that someone will say or do something to keep you near or far, not for your benefit, but for theirs.
Nicholl McGuire
Thanks for providing recent updates regarding the concern, I look forward to read more.
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