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Saturday, August 22, 2015

Your Lying Relatives - Why Do You Put Up with Them?

They post photos up on social networks boasting of people they claim to know real well, tell you stories about life events that supposedly happened, make promises they will do things but don't follow through, and at times remain quiet about truth while letting you believe family lies.  These liars in our families are often exposed sooner or later.  I think of a few who used distractions every time they were called out on their foolishness. 

With smiles on their faces, they talk of other things that have little to do with the lies they have told in an attempt to make you forget about what they said.  These manipulators exaggerate, pretending to know more than what they do.  They say they don't like certain family members, yet they tell these same people much about their lives and others.  Liars in the family come in all shapes and sizes, attend churches, hold leadership positions in organizations, do nice things for others, and appear to be harmless, sweet little old ladies and gentlemen.

Some of you fall for the lies!  You treat the whistleblowers in your family like plagues, because the liars don't want you becoming too close to them.  You are told, "That one is crazy...She doesn't know what she is talking about...You know she is known for...He said that because he is just angry..." But the one the liars speak of is the truth-teller.  Those relatives who expose wrong-doing are shouted down, ignored, made fun of, and cast aside.  It isn't any wonder that some truth-tellers don't come around the family anymore.

The real trouble-makers are those gossiping matriarchs in the family that use food and material wealth to win friends, ignorant patriarchs who have nothing better to do than to enable the liars in the family, and users and abusers who look and dress quite nicely, but on the inside are toxic shooting poison wherever they go.  Every now and again the so-called "nice," "fun" show their true colors, pretending to like, love relatives when they really could care less.

Your lying relatives believe the hype surrounding some of the successful family members, but little do they know that their matches were lying to them!  The prosperous will lie to obtain their wealth, exaggerate events during travels, and send even children to private schools while claiming they can afford them.  Relatives don't always connect the dots to learn that applications were falsified, activities didn't necessarily happen the way they told them, and more.  Lies fly out of mouths like salesmen trying to convince you to buy a lemon for a car.  Most individuals never bother to question liars' shady activities.  Why suddenly does someone who claims to have no money is out buying much?  Why are relatives told one thing, but certificates, paperwork, and other documents reveal a different story?  Most family members unaffected by the lies don't ask questions, but those who believe in holding relatives accountable and are simple weary of their story-telling will!

Don't walk softly around liars, ask for the truth and when it isn't given, it is safe to say you have a liar in your circle, mark them as such and create distance.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Say Goodbye to Dad, Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, When Mothers Cry, and other books. 

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