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Tuesday, August 25, 2015

The Family Knows Their Loved One is Troubled But Do You?

You meet, date, or work with someone from a reputable family.  You notice how relatives act toward one or a few relatives that seem to have something a bit odd about them.  The person might appear close to a few members, but the majority don't talk, come around or have much to say.  You wonder what is up with the strange, off-putting ways of some family members.  So you think you will be that one who is nice, kind and friendly to the "weird, crazy" one.

Sometimes family will wrongfully treat the whistle-blowers from a distance, while keeping their mentally handicap, drug-addicts, alcoholics, abusers, thieves, and others close to them.  You can't always tell who is "wild, crazy" until you get to know them.  The handsome man, attractive woman, and others in the family circle aren't always what they appear to be.  While those with common sense are shunned, the relatives in denial about troubled offenders in the family will present them as being "good, great wonderful" until you learn more about them.

Most relatives who don't want to be bothered with truly crazy loved ones will either subtly or boldly let you know, "I don't spend time with them...I don't really know them well...I prefer to mind my own business...We have had to help that one out far too many times.  I would be careful if I were you dealing with..."

When you know some relatives are challenging to deal with, it is always best to keep your distance.  No good deed goes unpunished when you are attempting to help those who are mentally unstable.  When you reach out to family members that even the matriarchs and patriarchs have cautioned you about, you won't win anything more than trouble on your hands.  So watch family cues and keep in mind not everyone is wrong about those relatives who just can't seem to live independently, get a job and keep one, don't do well remaining faithful to partners, struggle with addictions, and more.  There is always more to their stories and good reasons as to why relatives act the way they do.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Say Goodbye to Dad, Tell Me Mother You're Sorry and other books. 

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