Nice a Word that is Overused to Describe People We Barely Know

The Overuse of the Word "Family"

"I moved back because of family...I think it would be good to get together because of family...I think it would be nice if the family could...We should meet her family...You should help them because that is your family...I think the family should pitch in to help..."  Family, family, family!  We all get it!

There is that one in the family who loves putting an emphasis on what he or she believes family should or shouldn't do.  This person will rally up support from family members (typically the gullible ones) for his or her personal beliefs while hoping that he or she will get some sort of benefit out of the deal.  Whether the one preaching "family" is the mother, father, sister, brother or whoever else, most relatives don't bother to think, "Well, what's in it for her/him?  Why the push for family togetherness after all these years?  Why is he/she so adamant that his or her son or daughter come back to the hometown to stay?  What is the real meaning as to why he or she is talking much about family these days?"

In my years of doing what family say, rather than what I say, I have learned that the motives for some relatives on preaching family togetherness, even when there is no family closeness, is because that person (who screams the loudest) most likely has been influenced by another family he or she has married into or befriended outside of the bloodline.  This person is like the former smoker, who has kicked the habit, therefore he or she wants everyone else to quit.  "Why is everyone angry at one another, come on we are family!?  Why don't we go in and out of each other's homes--aren't we family?" she yells.  The family preacher, if you will, can be annoying with all his or her statements about "family" and "...getting along" while telling his or her own family, "What goes on in this house, stays in this house!" 

Oftentimes the family preacher is personally miserable while being judgmental toward others.  He or she knows that some people in the family will never change especially toward him or her who doesn't know when to be quiet or when to speak up.  Almost always this same person forgets his or her negative contributions to breaking the family down with things like: a quick tongue, moodiness, pride, lying, silent treatment, greed, selfishness, being unsupportive in times of need, and more!

Cheaters, manipulators, liars, pimps, hustlers, financially poor, and the moody seem to be the biggest preachers of family togetherness because they know that someone in the group will be weak enough to follow them.  "Yeah, sure...let's get together...we haven't seen the family in awhile...I'm in!"  The miserable circle of relatives, who sometimes mask their negativity well, get together on organizing the family campaign that usually causes more harm than good over time.  After all the party goers have left the show and the decor has been taken down and money spent, the disheartening family stories arise of the miserable group asking for money, wanting this, and needing that!

I caution readers of this blog to be wise in your decision-making when it comes to hiring, firing, marrying, divorcing, moving near, or moving away from intermediate family members as well as extended ones.  Whatever you choose, be mindful that someone will say or do something to keep you near or far, not for your benefit, but for theirs.

Nicholl McGuire

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Borrowing Money from Family Will Bring Trouble If Don't Pay Back

They say they will, pay the money back they owe.  While others warned, "Don't give XYZ any money..." a relative will anyway.  However, when one chooses to let relatives borrow hard-earned money, don't assume that one's word to pay back is true.

Relatives, who plan to bring drama when money isn't paid back, typically go from sweet and kind-hearted to miserable.  They will go after wife, kids, and even friends in the hope that a once beloved relative will honor his or her words.  It might take a long time before money is paid back, but when it is finally paid, there is typically a trail of trouble that one has had to endure due to a relative not honoring his or her promise during a set time.  Some things that might occur:

1.  Public disputes that might lead to the police being called.
2.  Items stolen in an effort to get owed money back.
3.  Lying or covering up by borrower, spouse and/or children.
4.  Divorce.
5.  Court issues.
6.  Ignored phone calls and family gatherings.
7.  Strange incidents that are done out of spite (i.e. damaged items, bad-mouthing...)

Those that beg, borrow, and steal money unfortunately do these things without a conscience.  They usually don't tell others what they have done.  These people know they have financial challenges, but believe that one day things will get better, but in many cases they never do, the mindset refuses to change.  As long as relatives come to the rescue, the one with the financial issue will always feel like he or she can ask.

If you know you are the type that flips out when it comes to borrowing money, don't offer it to someone who is broke (one who has no forseeable way to get finances in the immediate future).   

Nicholl McGuire

Family Foundation Legacies

Genesis 18:17-19 states: "The LORD said, "Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, since Abraham will surely become a great and mighty nation, and in him all the nations of the earth will be blessed? For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of The Lord by doing righteousness and justice; so that the LORD may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him."

God validated the importance of leaving a legacy through family to Abraham when He said that His promises to him related to nation-building were directly tied to Abraham's influence on his own children. God instructed Abraham to train his children, along with his entire household, to live their lives under God (Joshua 24:15). God's plan in history is tied to family legacy (Exodus 3:6). It's a motif spread throughout the Bible in distinct terms that describe structure that makes a family. Discipleship cultivates order and structure in the home to keep God. It replicates the process elsewhere.

Evangelizing the family is introducing them to God (Genesis 17:26-27). Circumcision is the sign of the covenant. It brings the family to faith. It establishes commitment to serve God and training/development (Ephesians 6:4). It starts with having a sense of destiny. Purpose births and raises it in the Seed that is transcendental. Passing down is critical in terms of faith because someone after you has to continue the legacy.

If not the fulfillment and understanding is disqualified null and void. Preempt ways the enemy works kills generations after the one that doesn't pass the godly way along ultimately fails. The world can't be looked at for what it is but for what we want it to become. Family can't be built off of just going through the motions, it needs to be done having a goal in mind. Nurturing a cultivated family in God begins in a unified effort. The family in God requires centeredness and reverence. God will take care of your fortune, future, and happiness.

The home should be an atmosphere of life. The man is tone setter and without that role, he is simply a baby maker that doesn't care or love his children and there is no holy culture at home. The woman is a clinging life supply of security, stability, and love. She is the fruitful vine. A prudent, virtuous woman grows from a healthy spiritual atmosphere. A vine turns into a vineyard that is seasonal. The children are olive plants which turn to trees with proper teaching and nurturing. These moments are seized for God.

 

Anthony Tyus, guest blogger

 

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Why Is it so Important to Know Your Family History?

A child might not seem to care too much about family history, but those dating should.  As adults, we tend to know more about everyone else's history, but our own.  So when kissing cousins meet one another, have babies, and so on, family members want to act judgmental, ignorant, or downright rude?  This could all be avoided if the elder relatives would open up their mouths and start sharing family history including health information.  Tell the maiden names of the women in the family, talk about where the family originated from as far back as you remember, check out online information, and visit genealogy websites.  Why should the younger generation walk around not knowing who their extended relatives are?  Maybe they will never meet their elder aunts, uncles, and cousins, but it doesn't hurt to know at least their names and possible whereabouts.

Nicholl McGuire

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