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Saturday, August 6, 2016

Parents Who Don't Like Your Children

Some parents just don't like their children.  You listen to their conversation and you think, "I'm sure your children don't like you either."  There is no judging, it just is.

Whatever moved parents and children not to like or appreciate one another has a lot to do with internal issues, some that just might be centered around mental illness, substance abuse, many disappointments, living vicariously through children who didn't meet standards, ineffective parenting, etc. 

There are many ways one can start on the path of healing a parent-child relationship such as: one-on-one counseling with a professional, personal study, faith, doctor's care, and more.  However, none of that can take place when one or both secretly have no desire to connect with one another, yet they might pretend to like one another--the bridge might have been brought down and there is no plan of rebuilding.  (So to the adviser who thinks that everything will work itself out "if this one does this or that..." save your breath.)

People need time to adjust their thoughts about themselves and others.  Sometimes they have spent far too many years with one another that they have burned themselves out.  They might have done some mean-spirited things that they know they can't fix.  You increase your chances of some kind of major falling out with a parent and other loved ones when you spend far too much time talking and visiting with them.

Parents sometimes don't like their children for some of the most juvenile or petty reasons.  Take for instance, the daughter who fails to run to a mother's rescue when she commands or the son who doesn't bother to stop over to see Dad when he is "in the mood" to see him?  So they hold grudges, change beneficiaries on policies, bad mouth their children to others, and then extract pity from those who don't have a clue as to what is really going on. (Check out Tell Me Mother You're Sorry and Say Goodbye to Dad by Nicholl McGuire).

There might be someone in your circle that is saying and doing ugly things concerning their children.  Don't justify their wrong-doing or assume that everything they are saying about their kids is accurate especially when they are older.  Know that there are those parents who don't like their children and so they reap because of it.

Nicholl McGuire

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