Wedding Planning with Jana Duggar
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[image: Wedding Planning with Jana Duggar]
Jana Duggar, now Jana Wissmann, has been married for almost three months.
As most of you know, she left her hom...
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
No Badge of Honor for the Callous Mother
African American View on You - Black Love, Life and Spirituality: No Badge of Honor for the Callous Mother: She expects to be honored, but she doesn't respect others. She assumes she will receive gifts from loved ones, yet she has stopped buyi...
Saturday, May 13, 2017
Face Your Foe: Know a Fool?
Face Your Foe: Know a Fool?: I have confronted fools, participated in conversations with them, and have been used and abused by them. You can't win a confrontation w...
Friday, May 12, 2017
Saturday, April 29, 2017
Friday, April 21, 2017
Thursday, April 20, 2017
Tips Dating Older Men, Dating Younger Women: Christian Dating: Older Men and Younger Women
Tips Dating Older Men, Dating Younger Women: Christian Dating: Older Men and Younger Women: In the Bible there are men in relationships with younger women. For example, Boaz and Ruth were one such couple. Now there is nothing wron...
Wednesday, April 19, 2017
Family Activities Don't Have to Cost Money Just Your Time
Family Activities Don't Have to Cost Money Just Your Time: Parenting blog for families of multi-age groups - newborns, tweens, and teens. Basic facts on raising children. Tips on shopping for children.
How Parents Secretly Favor One Child Over Another
Parents began favoring one child over another the day when the
not-so favored child decided to go against the rules not once, not
twice, but as many times as they could to get what they wanted, make
a statement, or show parents when their wrong in their judgments. Controlling adults who become parents don’t take too kindly to this
behavior and will punish the child, at times, severely. The
hardheaded, stubborn, strong-willed, defiant and many other words
used to describe this challenging child was why secretly, parents
gave up on the battles with him or her and began to favor the
easy-going, obedient, and respectful child.
This is a sad truth! As much as parents say they love all their children the same, the reality is they don’t. They love their children differently based on the personality that they have noticed within each of their children. John will receive tough love because he challenges authority and David will receive a gentler love because he doesn’t put up a challenge. As both children become older, tasks are given to them and they are expected to follow instructions and make mom and dad proud. However, the child who prefers to question authority before he completes his task is met with a frown from defeated parents who have grown weary of John’s “smart mouth, mess ups” etc. So he makes a decision not to even do the task – “Why bother, my parents don’t expect me to do it right anyway?” Yet, the favored child completes the task and doesn’t let the parents’ attitude or his sibling’s objections affect what needs to be done. Moments like these are repeated over time, from asking that the room be cleaned to taking out the trash while parents are judging who is more responsible.
The more responsible child will ultimately win the prize once they are older whether it be college paid for, a trust fund, property left to them, their grandchildren receiving gifts and a host of other rewards. The already favored child gets an increase of “brownie points,” while the other child is labeled irresponsible and reminded about the past and all the times he or she failed at assigned tasks and didn’t follow parent’s orders. Could it have been the un-favored child just needed a little more instruction, attention or maybe a simple smile from mom or dad that said, “I have faith in you”?
Now that the children have become adults, parents are observing each adult child’s behavior more-so, because they know that the kind of adult their child has become will reflect on whether the parents enabled the success or failure of all their children. The favored child has shown a consistent lifestyle with little, if any, fluctuation in it. He or she doesn’t seem to waver too far from mom or dad, they seem to be around to help them in whatever way they can –sometimes without being asked. They aren’t frivolous with their finances and seem to have stable relationships with everyone around them. Yet, the not so favored child is not coming around the parents often. In fact, they may have moved out of the state, against his or her parent’s wishes. He or she doesn’t have many stable relationships and enjoys spending money at times more than what the parents would have done when they were his or her age. The parents see their adult child as irresponsible in their eyes. Is the adult child really irresponsible or just different and the parents don’t like it because they can’t control them? The answer to this question lies with the person going through a similar experience.
Nicholl McGuire
This is a sad truth! As much as parents say they love all their children the same, the reality is they don’t. They love their children differently based on the personality that they have noticed within each of their children. John will receive tough love because he challenges authority and David will receive a gentler love because he doesn’t put up a challenge. As both children become older, tasks are given to them and they are expected to follow instructions and make mom and dad proud. However, the child who prefers to question authority before he completes his task is met with a frown from defeated parents who have grown weary of John’s “smart mouth, mess ups” etc. So he makes a decision not to even do the task – “Why bother, my parents don’t expect me to do it right anyway?” Yet, the favored child completes the task and doesn’t let the parents’ attitude or his sibling’s objections affect what needs to be done. Moments like these are repeated over time, from asking that the room be cleaned to taking out the trash while parents are judging who is more responsible.
The more responsible child will ultimately win the prize once they are older whether it be college paid for, a trust fund, property left to them, their grandchildren receiving gifts and a host of other rewards. The already favored child gets an increase of “brownie points,” while the other child is labeled irresponsible and reminded about the past and all the times he or she failed at assigned tasks and didn’t follow parent’s orders. Could it have been the un-favored child just needed a little more instruction, attention or maybe a simple smile from mom or dad that said, “I have faith in you”?
Now that the children have become adults, parents are observing each adult child’s behavior more-so, because they know that the kind of adult their child has become will reflect on whether the parents enabled the success or failure of all their children. The favored child has shown a consistent lifestyle with little, if any, fluctuation in it. He or she doesn’t seem to waver too far from mom or dad, they seem to be around to help them in whatever way they can –sometimes without being asked. They aren’t frivolous with their finances and seem to have stable relationships with everyone around them. Yet, the not so favored child is not coming around the parents often. In fact, they may have moved out of the state, against his or her parent’s wishes. He or she doesn’t have many stable relationships and enjoys spending money at times more than what the parents would have done when they were his or her age. The parents see their adult child as irresponsible in their eyes. Is the adult child really irresponsible or just different and the parents don’t like it because they can’t control them? The answer to this question lies with the person going through a similar experience.
Nicholl McGuire
Friday, April 14, 2017
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
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It's All in the Family by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at familyarticlesbynicholl.blogspot.com.
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