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When you are involved with
someone who really enjoys the company of his or her family a little
more than you do, the last thing you want to do is hurt him or her,
so you go along to get along month after month or year after year
until one day a light bulb goes off, "I don't want to keep doing
this! I really want to do something different this year." If
resentment is mixed with anger once you arrive to this revelation,
those emotions are sure to bring confusion for yourself and/or
household, because for so long you had chose to do some things to
appease someone else.
I remember the looks on faces
of wives and girlfriends of relatives who were uncomfortable, upset
about something, and just wasn't in the mood to be around family.
But their pushy partners insisted that they come around. You could
tell with some of these women they had been arguing. I recorded one
with a video camera during a Thanksgiving family event say when asked
by a relative, "Why are you both late? I thought you weren't
coming?" She responded with, "We won't get into that."
It was clear she was not going to share a story that would embarrass
her or cause further discord between her and her partner. Later that
same day, there were some details given by the girlfriend that proved
the couple did have a major disagreement prior to their arrival.
Another girlfriend of a different relative visiting her boyfriend's
family didn't look that comfortable being with kin either at the same
event. She said very little and smiled infrequently.
